2016 in Review

There are so many reasons that 2016 should have been one of the best years of my life and perhaps, years from now, when I look back on it it will be.  But with 2016 quickly coming to a close, I honestly feel like I won't be sorry to see it end.

At the beginning of the year, I graduated from Business School and finally took the sister trip we've been dreaming about for years.   At the end of the year, my sister was able to marry her girlfriend in one of the best ceremonies I've seen in a long time.  I was even able to finish the rough draft of a very promising novel during National Novel Writing Month.  But it was around November things started to take a nose dive and they haven't been able to recover at all.

There is the obvious disappointment, for a registered Democrat, in November.  But the fallout of that event and the friendships that have been strained have left me anything but Thankful in November.  And now, in December, my mother's car has been stolen.  Which makes it extremely difficult to feel goodwill towards men at a time when it is most needed.

Then there are the personal disappointments.  I interviewed for a job that ticks off all of my needs for a career in Accounting.  The interview went well and they actually offered me the position.  Unfortunately, I had to decline because of the pay rate.  No matter how I tried, I could not work my budget to accept a $10K pay cut to switch careers.  My own car needing some extensive repair work was a painful reminder that I cannot accept less than my current salary.

And I don't think that my potential career growth in my current company will be enough to allow me to start a family.  At 35, this is a major concern for me and I'm desperately trying not to get freaked out about the shrinking window of time before the biological clock goes off and I can't hit snooze on it anymore.

I have many things I want to accomplish before I have kids, but I don't know how it will all fit in with my current financial situation.  Which is not to say that kids and my plans are mutually exclusive, kids are actually part of that plan, it's just going to be a lot more difficult to make it all work the way I'd like it to.

Question 6 in Maryland

Question 6
Referendum Petition
(Ch. 2 of the 2012 Legislative Session)
Civil Marriage Protection Act

Establishes that Maryland’s civil marriage laws allow gay and lesbian couples to obtain a civil marriage license, provided they are not otherwise prohibited from marrying; protects clergy from having to perform any particular marriage ceremony in violation of their religious beliefs; affirms that each religious faith has exclusive control over its own theological doctrine regarding who may marry within that faith; and provides that religious organizations and certain related entities are not required to provide goods, services, or benefits to an individual related to the celebration or promotion of marriage in violation of their religious beliefs.

I have had an interesting discussion about marriage today.  My sister and her girlfriend have recently moved in together and they were discussing the future.  As the mature adults they are, they've decided that they aren't going to seriously consider marriage until they see how the next year goes.  Living with someone is entirely different from dating and you learn so much more about the person when you have to work through everyday challenges and problems.  But the idea is on the table for future discussion and is not disagreeable to either of them.  However, they don't want to just have a Wedding and then think of themselves as married.  They want their marriage to be legally recognized and protected.  So I now have completely selfish reasons to want Maryland to pass the Same-Sex Marriage legislation on Tuesday.

They also discussed what happens if legislation is passed that will not recognize Same-Sex Marriages on the Federal level.  The possibility, given careers and other life events, of my sister and her girlfriend moving to another country for these legal protections is not out of the question.  I've written before about how close my sister and I are and that I wish we lived closer to each other.  So if our country fails to recognize this civil right of its citizens, they will push my sister further away from the family.  For so many people, the Same-Sex Marriage legislation is an abstract concept.  It's something that has no bearing on their lives whatsoever, except to say that it does or does not hold with their belief system.  This will directly affect my family and it makes me so nervous about the outcome of Tuesday's election. 

My Business Law professor has talked about it several times in class.  He brings it up every time we study a law that has the marriage caveat.  He doesn't give his opinion or tell us what we should think, he just offers us the facts and tells us to make up our own minds.  Right now we're studying property law.  I didn't realize that if my father were to get in a car accident and be sued for medical bills, that he and my step-father would be forced to sell their house so that dad's half of the assets would cover that debt.  If their marriage were legally recognized in the state of Maryland, their house would be protected. And there are so many instances where a marriage license provides this automatic protection or entitlement.  Yes, there are a lot of other legal protections a same-sex couple could put in place without a marriage license but there isn't an alternative for this property right.  My dad and his husband would be treated the same as if my sister and I owned a house together no matter what.

Our entire society is structured to encourage people to get married, for religious purposes or not.  A read through Samhita Mukhopadhyay's Outdated: Why Dating is Ruining Your Love Life provides excellent examples of how we're taught that one is not really an adult or successful until one is married.  Yet, as a society, we deny homosexuals the ability to do so.  How can one look at our society, with its social and legal structures, and tell me that marriage is strictly a religious thing? 

Chick-fil-A

There has been a lot of conversation about Chick-fil-A recently and my Facebook news feed is full of diverging opinions on the issue.  One of my very dear, childhood friends has even posted in support of the corporation.  On one hand, I completely support freedom of speech and will defend Chick-fil-A's right to say whatever they believe without fear of repercussions from the government, Mayor of Boston I'm looking at you.  On the other,  I have every right not to patronize that establishment and support those views or help fund those organizations that Chick-fil-A finances.  But those aren't even the issues anymore.  We're not fighting about freedom of speech, we're fighting about religion and who is more right than whom.
My friend's reasons are that Chick-fil-A supports the "biblical" definition of marriage and isn't afraid to stand up for its beliefs.  She sees it as Daniel in the lion's den, being persecuted for the same Christian beliefs she has.  This makes me sadder than Chick-fil-A Dan Cathy's announcement that they're "guilty as charged." It means that she also subscribes to the belief that homosexuality is against God and doesn't support same-sex marriage rights at all; that all of the conversations we've had are for naught.  When my dad first came out to me, she was the first friend I told and it was never a big deal or a problem.  It's only been after her marriage that we've started to disagree on these issues.  I would say it's the influence of her husband, but her mother shared the exact same posts on Facebook.  So perhaps I didn't really know her as well as I thought I did.

Part of the Dan Cathy announcement was that they believed in the "biblical" definition and all of Chick-fil-A's executives were married to their first wives.  The implication is that the "biblical" definition of marriage doesn't include divorced/remarried and when they support Families, they don't include single parent households.  When we start setting up these definitions of what is acceptable and what is not when it comes to love and family, where do we draw the line?  Now, it is the LGBT community but it could just as easily be divorcees or interracial couples.

Then we come to the organizations that are actually being funded by a Chick-fil-A purchase.  I don't want to support organizations that hate my family or would have rather seen me grow up in foster care than in the environment I did.  (To be fair, my step-parent from age 14-24 was like a villain in a fairy tale but that had little to do with my dad being gay and everything to do with his partner being an asshole.  If the step-parent had been married to my mother I'd have endured the same trauma.)  I don't want to give money so that kids can be tortured into acting straight.  I have a friend, who had first hand experience with Exodus International and it breaks my heart to know he, or any child, had to endure that.

The thing that really frightens me, though, is the rhetoric that is being used.  It is far more damaging and dangerous than people realize.  In this argument about whether or not people should boycott Chick-fil-A, the religious conservatives are using language that attempts to dehumanize homosexuals.  When an organization or government succeeds in convincing the public that this or that group is less than human, there is no end to the atrocities that will be committed against those people.  I think about Nazi Germany at times like these.  It wasn't as if the entire country woke up one morning and thought let's put Jewish people in camps.  It started with the little things in society and worked its way up to political campaigns.  An entire nation allowed a group of human beings to be beaten, tested on, and murdered because they were convinced, over time, that those people were subhuman. 

I would like to think that couldn't possibly happen again, especially on that kind of scale and especially in this country.  But the hatred that is brewing in our borders (not just against the LGBT community but also the anger at foreign nationals and immigrants, as well as the animosity between the races, political parties, social classes, and even religious organizations) it feels like that cycle could start again.  The economy isn't great, it's getting better, but it's still a long road.  People are frustrated with the speed of recovery, but we're not the only country that's suffering.   All of these things could be ingredients for that level of violence if we're not conscious of it.

A Crossroads 2

I have to call and set up an interview for this week.  Turns out that my transcripts and mostly accounting background didn't scare off the powers that be at the Grant Writing job.  I am still unsure of what to do should this interview also go well and they potentially offer me the position.

Part of me feels so disloyal and deceitful.  I mean I like my job and my on-site supervisor.  There is no reason I would seek out another job, this opportunity just happened to find me.  But I also know that if they had to downsize for any reason, as much as they like the work I do and value me as an employee, it wouldn't be personal.  So I really can't view this the same way, should I actually get a job offer that presents a better opportunity.

Things I know about my current job:

• I've been doing the same thing for the last three years.
• There was talk of promoting me to something, but that disappeared when my old boss left for a different job.
• I don't have a clear cut path for promotion or advancement within the company
• They will pay up to $5000 a year for my business school education
• My current salary is about $45K a year - with bonuses and school reimbursement

So I would need to determine what this new job would pay, then what kind of career ladder we're talking about.

Taxes

I am starting to prepare my 2011 tax returns.  It's important for the filing of the FAFSA I am going to do, though I am not 100% sure I need to do that for graduate school - must research and find out.  So far everything is coming in as it should, I've gotten my day job W-2 and the 1098-E's for my student loans.  I even received a 1098-T for the $400 or so dollars I paid for my Accounting I class this summer, which must be something new because I don't remember getting one when I attended undergrad over six years ago.  I know I had the cash out of my DTB IRA, so that's an additional $6K I have not yet accounted for in my income.  I'm not sure what form I need for that though, so there is a lot of information I need to collect before finalizing anything. 

Right now, H & R Block is showing I will get $900 back from federal and $4000 from State.  I realize these are not legitimate numbers, as I said I cashed out an IRA this year, and I'm really just hoping to break even.  I contributed more to my 401(k) and had an additional $50 per paycheck withheld for state taxes to compensate for both the IRA cash out and my second job.  So the estimates are far from realistic at this point, BUT wouldn't it be nice if they were?

That large of a return would pay off more than just the Christmas debt I saddled myself with this past holiday.  It would give me extra for school, or vacations, or to put away for Christmas this year.  Is this what homeowners feel like?  I know they get a larger return than I normally do because of the property values and mortgage paid, etc.  But of course that has to go back into upkeep of the house and property taxes.  Could I possibly stop having an additional $50 withheld from my paycheck every two weeks?  That would bring at least an additional $100 into my budget every month.  I will have tuition payments this year.  Perhaps I could rely on the regular withholding again. 

It's just the thought of having to pay the government money at the end of the year freaks me out.  It's not that I don't want to pay taxes at all or that I think they're too high, etc.  It's just that I'd rather pay too much and have the government act as a sort of savings account than have to keep estimating throughout the year to make sure I don't have to pay when I file.  The saving of money has never been easy for me, so owing the government would not be easy on my finances.  It's the intense pressure of owing money to someone or some organization that causes me to freak out.

A Crossroads

This weekend, I had one of the Dads' bar friends ask me to submit my resumé to him.  He works for the government, specifically Health and Human Services.  He overheard me talking to his wife about my grad school application process and asked Dad a lot of questions about me at the next gathering.  The job he specifically has in mind: Grant Writing.  I said that I would submit my resumé and thanked him for thinking of me.  It's difficult to really talk about all the thoughts that run through one's head when someone asks for your resumé out of the blue like that.  So it's always best to just say thank you and I will.

Of course, now I am faced with all the crippling thoughts that come with contemplating the future and choices that must be made.  To begin with, I have already started the wheels in motion for an advanced degree in Accounting.  Five years ago, I would have been jumping up and down at the prospect of a job in Grant Writing.  Now I am a little more cautious as I don't know what this means for the plans I have started to lay down, nor do I want to dismiss an excellent opportunity without really considering all the options.  But the bigger question is what do I really want to be doing five years from now?

I know from the class I took this summer that I am actually quite good at accounting and I do get a measure of satisfaction knowing I am not just a "words" person.  Learning accounting would be tied up with the building blocks of business management and that's always useful knowledge.  But then getting in with a government job is difficult and if I am to attain my dream of working at the Library of Congress, whether as Librarian or Accountant, this would be a useful step.  Once in the government I would have the ability to move from job to job without losing years of service.  Unlike the private sector where a new start with a new company means starting over again, unless other terms are negotiated. 

But the opportunity for advancement can be greater in the private sector.  It's like picking investments for one's 401(k); do you go with high risk since you have time before retirement or do you go slow and steady?  One could have greater earning potential if the markets are in your favor, but you could also lose everything and not have enough to retire.  The same is true for the low risk investments, too, but it tends to be more stable.

I must not get ahead of myself.  Submitting a resumé does not mean one will get a job or even a job offer.  I submitted enough of them when I was unemployed to know that better than anyone.  But when the friend of a family member makes a point to ask, the likelihood that one will have to accept or decline something greatly increases.  And, of course, the part that is bothering me is that someone somewhere will have to be disappointed.

Captain America

image source http://www.comics.org/issue/1313/cover/4/

I went to see the Captain America: First Avenger movie this weekend and I have to say that it was kind of amazing.  I was impressed by the use of special effects and the visual of Chris Evans going from Super-Skinny Steve Rogers to Beefcake Captain America.  I wondered if it was a body double and they put Chris' face on someone else's body.  But after reading this article on Film Journal International I learned that each scene with pre-serum Steve was shot 4 times.  Once with all the actors, once with just Chris Evans, once with all the other actors, and once with a body double just in case.  Then through computer and movie magic they were able to shrink Chris Evans digitally and reinsert him into the scene.  According to the article, there were some scenes where a body double was used and Chris' face was grafted onto it later.

It was actually a really fun movie and I definitely recommend it.  I didn't feel it was overly nationalistic, even though the original comic was born from the WWII era Patriotism.  Clearly, this is a time period when we do need to get back to feeling good about our country, as hard as that may be.  This film not solving national budget problems, or arguing over the debt ceiling, or doing anything that will actually make our lives better.  But I think it will, on some subconsious level, make people feel good about things and isn't that the point of the movies? 

Defining Current Events Terms

There has been a lot of talk on the radio lately about the national debt, our debt ceiling, and our bond rating.  I have a vague understanding of these terms, but not true comprehension.  So I thought it might be a good idea to post a few things I have researched.  If anything, I know my sister will correct any false assumptions I make.

[Note: a lot of these links are to wikipedia]

The S & P Bond Rating for the US was downgraded to AA+

• S & P - (Standard & Poor's) - a division of the McGraw-Hill Companies.  S & P publishes financial research and analysis of stocks and bonds.  Also known as one of the Big Three Credit Rating Agencies.
• McGraw-Hill Companies - publishes my accounting textbook and a lot of other educational materials.
• Some may be more familiar with the S&P 500 that is published about the stock market.  I hear the term S&P 500 on NPR a lot when I'm going home.  But it doesn't really mean that much to me, just let's me know that this company is a reliable source of information for a lot of financial things.
• The Big Three Credit Rating Agencies - Includes S & P, Moody's, and Fitch Group - given authority by the US government over 100 years ago to rate the Railroad companies for the safety of investors. 
• S & P gives ratings from AAA to D for a country/state/borrower/etc. 
• AAA is the best possible rating. It means that a borrower or issuer of a bond is reliable and stable.  An investor is very likely to get what is promised for their money.
• AA+ is our current rating from S & P.  This means that we are slightly higher risk than a AAA rated borrower when looking at a long-term investment.  My understanding of this is that, like most of the world, we're experiencing financial difficulties and if we don't do something to stem the tide now things will only continue to get worse down the road.
• I like to compare this to my own credit rating.  As of right now, it's about average but not that great.  It went down recently because I put my entire Ireland vacation on my credit card and I am paying it off slowly.  My sister has a better credit rating than I do because her debt to income ratio is better.  If she and I were to go a bank for a loan she would have a better chance of getting the money than I would.  My credit isn't terrible compared to about 70% of the US Population, but I'm not that financially sound.  This is why I don't have a mortgage.  Not that I've tried, but I think I should be on better footing before I attempt that kind of purchase.

NY Times Article: California to Require Gay History in Schools

NY Time Article: California to Require Gay History In Schools


I came across this article and thought it was incredibly interesting.  I am very proud that California has passed this requirement for their school curriculum.

It's the Final Countdown...

Thirty years ago, 1 month and 16 days after I was born, the first Space Shuttle was sent into orbit.  Though it wasn't until 1982 that NASA began using the Space Shuttle on actual operational flights, I can't help but feel a kinship with it.  Today, the last Space Shuttle flight occurred.  I've written before about the space program and what a shame it is that, as a country, we don't have the drive we once had in this arena.

image from wikipedia

 "Just four astronauts—Christopher Ferguson (Commander) , Douglas Hurley (Pilot), Sandra Magnus (Mission Specialist 1), and Rex Walheim (Mission Specialist 2)—are conducting the 135th and last space shuttle mission on board Atlantis."  Listening to NPR, I learned that this is one of the smallest crews in the history of the Space Shuttle and there is a very good reason for this.  Since Atlantis is the last of the Space Shuttles, there isn't an emergency back-up in case something were to go wrong during the mission.  So the astronauts would have to move into the International Space Station until the Russian Soyuz Spacecraft can bring them home.   As you can see from the photo to the right, there is a big size difference between the Soyuz Spacecraft and the Space Shuttle we're retiring.  The Space Shuttle was used to transport the different modules of the ISS into space and the Soyuz has a limit of four people.  I also learned on NPR that the Soyuz Spacecraft will be the only way to travel to and from the ISS for now.   

It makes me wonder at the future for the ISS.  I know that it has only recently been reprieved through 2020 and I was reading on Wikipedia that the United States doesn't currently have the means to de-orbit the part of the ISS for which it is responsible until a replacement is found for the Space Shuttle.  So will the ISS continue to be maintained after 2020 via the Soyuz and commercial space flights or will it linger in space until our government decides what to do with it.  If the current battle over our debt ceiling is any indicator, I have a feeling that it will remain in space until it becomes a problem we're not prepared to handle.

USDA's My Plate



When I was in elementary school, we were taught the four food groups: Meats, Milk & Dairy, Cereals & Breads, and Fruits & Vegetables.  Then things got a little complicated with the introduction of the Food Pyramid.  Now there were recommended portions and six different sections, breads were the solid base  and fruits and vegetables each had their own section.  In 2005, the pyramid was changed to give a smaller role to breads & cereals, but it stayed equally as confusing.  This week, the USDA has released the new dietary guidelines and their new good health graphic.  They've gone with a plate this time, which makes a little more sense to me.

USDA My Plate


Now, it seems like Fruits & Vegetables are the base of healthy nutrition.  (To those following the new Weight Watchers Points Plus Program, this isn't a huge surprise.)  Half of the plate is taken up with these two important food groups.

The Grains still take up a sizable portion of the plate, but the USDA is quick to state that half of these grains should be whole grains and not refined grains like white flour.  (The refined grains tend to be over processed and lacking in fiber.)  Again, this is nothing new to the WW people.

Then there is the Protein section.  Which is pretty self-explanatory, but feel free to follow the link for further information.

Dairy rounds it all out, though be careful to read the information link because the dairy section only refers to those items that are rich in calcium.  This does not include cream cheese, cream, or butter I regret to say.  Not pictured on the plate, but certainly included in the Weight Watchers Daily Healthy checks and on the USDA website, are Oils. 

I find it incredibly interesting to see a lot of the Weight Watchers program reflected in these new guidelines, especially the emphasis on fruit.  As you may or may not be aware, Weight Watchers recently declared all fruits to be 0 points.  This has been tremendously helpful on days where all my points are gone and I am still hungry.  Most vegetables are also 0, but it depends on how they might be prepared.

I am glad to see that I am making healthy choices in my day to day food choices.  Even if it's because of the Weight Watcher's Guidelines and not because I figured it all out on my own.  It's nice to have the USDA research to back up my Weight Loss Program, too.  Reminds me that it's not a crazy fad diet, that's it's an actual lifestyle change.

A New Decade?

Last night, my sister called me around 10:00pm.  She said that the President was going to make an announcement and the press was pretty sure it was the death of Osama Bin Laden.  I was already in bed at the time and didn't feel like going out to the living room to watch something I would undoubtedly see on TV for the next three weeks.  I know it probably sounds unpatriotic, but I honestly didn't think it was that big a deal to drag myself out of bed after I'd been fighting sleep for several hours.  If I remember correctly, she said she thought it would be an historic moment (and for those that remember 9/11 it is) and I said that I didn't think it was something to celebrate as, undoubtedly, someone else would rise up to fill his shoes.

Thinking about it today, I have to maintain that feeling.  It's kind of like fighting the Hydra; cut off one of its heads and three grow back in its place.  We're not dealing with a typical army/enemy country, we're dealing with religious fervor and that is much harder to quell.  There will be some kind of threat to the US to retaliate for this death.

People are celebrating this death the way the British People celebrated the wedding of their Prince.  It sickens me a little.  Part of me is glad that we can close this chapter in our history and hopefully move on from it stronger than we were before.  I remember what it was like on September 11th and I can imagine that this is a huge relief to the survivors and the families of those killed during the attacks.  But I can't get over the fact that, as a country, we're celebrating a death.

Transcripts, Classes, Reimbursements, oh my!

I went to see my HR representative today.  After my review with the Boss Lady, I figured I should look into what options the company had to offer in terms of educational pursuits.  Turns out that I could get a 100% reimbursement if my final grade is an A and I don't use financial aid.  I don't know what it would be if I had financial aid, but I'll have to look into it if I go to Grad School for real. 
For now, I am just looking at a class over the summer at the local community college. (I've ordered my transcripts from undergrad and will try and stop over at the advisors in the next few days.) It will be Principles of Accounting I, so we'll see how that goes.  If I find it as frustrating as my sister is, then it's probably not the right path for me and I will be back at the starting line trying to figure out what career to pursue.  If it's something that, at least, makes sense to me and I don't completely hate, then it could be a great option as I already have several years in the field as an Accounting Clerk/Assistant.

I just want to be more financially stable and eventually have the ability to quit Hallmark AND afford to buy a house in the next five years.  Maybe these are high expectations, but I have to have something to aim for or I will spend the next ten years running around in circles thinking things are "good enough."

Passports in Time

from Gizmodo: "George Orwell is Crying"

Yesterday, I received my new passport.  I was starting to get a little worried what with the Government Shutdown and only a few more weeks until my trip.  But thankfully it came through and now the government can shutdown whenever it pleases.

I also received my expired passport back in the mail, for which I was very grateful, and couldn't help but notice the differences.  My old passport had an actual photo taken and laminated onto the inside of the front cover with all of my important information.  This passport, even though I sent actual photos, was printed digitally.  Both, I feel, are not accurate depictions of me.  The one from ten years ago is so washed out you can only make out my eyes and mouth.  This one is so pixelated that there are weird reddish splotches around the shadows on my face, not to mention it's blown up and stretched out so that it looks nothing like the original I sent in.

E-Passport Logo

This new passport, which was updated in 2007, includes "a small contactless integrated circuit" that contains a digital copy of everything on my informational page.   This computer chip, embedded in the back cover, uses a biometric identifier (mostly face recognition software).  These are added security features but, as with anything, there is the possibility for them to be exploited.
There are questions about possible "skimming" of the information on the chip and general identity theft.  According to the US Department of State, they've already taken this into consideration:

“Skimming.” We use an embedded metallic element in our passports. One of the simplest measures for preventing unauthorized reading of e-passports is to add RF blocking material to the cover of an e-passport. Before such a passport can be read, it has to be physically opened. It is a simple and effective method for reducing the opportunity for unauthorized reading of the passport at times when the holder does not expect it. 

Also:

“Skimming and Eavesdropping.” We have adopted Basic Access Control (BAC) to minimize the risk of “skimming” and “eavesdropping.” Basic Access Control requires that the initial interaction between the embedded microchip in the passport and the border control reader include protocols for setting up the secure communication channel. To ensure that only authorized RFID readers can read data, Basic Access Control stores a pair of secret cryptographic keys in the passport chip. When a reader attempts to scan the passport, it engages in a challenge-response protocol that proves knowledge of the pair of keys and derives a session key. If authentication is successful, the passport releases its data contents; otherwise, the reader is deemed unauthorized and the passport refuses read access. This control would require the receiving state to read the passport machine-readable zone (MRZ) to unlock and read the data on the chip. The MRZ information is used for computing the encryption and message authentication keys used for the “secure” exchange. BAC mollifies the possibility of both “skimming” and “eavesdropping.”

Overall, it provides a more complex passport that will be difficult to duplicate or counterfeit.  When I think about my old passport, which could have easily had the picture replaced, I can't help but think these are changes for the better.  Of course, with the advance of technology comes new obstacles and challenges to security.  With internet shopping and online profiles it's easier than ever to gain access to private information, but it's also easier to learn of fraud when it happens to you.  We're never going to live in a world where we don't have to worry about these things.  Someone will always try to find the easy way or feel like they're cleverer than other people and therefore above the rules and regulations by which other people live their lives.  There will always be dishonesty in this world.  The best we can do is to protect ourselves without holing up in a cave somewhere.

A few other articles you might like to check out:
Worldhum - "New US Passport: Like being given coloring book that your brother already colored in"
New York Times - "Stars and Stripes, Wrapped in the Same Old Blue"
Gizmodo - "New E-Passport Is Patriotic, High-Tech and Ugly"

Government Shutdown

I am a bit concerned about things in my personal life right now, as you may have been able to tell, and as much as I am trying to care about the important day to day things I just can't.  But in a effort to write about something other than my broken heart and keep something interesting for the casual reader, may I present this Washington Post Article.

We had a meeting at work that came up very suddenly on every one's calendar at 1:30pm, it was the same exact time as my Weight Watchers at Work meeting so I was not in attendance (I've also lost 37 pounds officially, but I'm not excited about it right now), but the gist was that with the impending Government shut down we weren't getting as many orders and had to restructure.  (a.k.a. there are a few layoffs.)  9 people were laid off, including a program director for one of the programs I work with.  This has me a little bit concerned on many levels. 

On one hand, my co-workers are working extra hard and willing to take on any extra tasks to prove that they are needed and useful.  I have no motivation to do my regular work right now let alone try to kiss up to the big cogs in the wheel.  Which does not look good at all, I am sure, but my boss is aware of what's happening with me right now and I've proven myself in the past.  As long as this apathy to everything doesn't continue an abnormally long time, I should be fine.

On the other hand, I wonder how bad things really are in the Government Contractor field.  Not to mention the Government Sector.  Do I really want to pursue an education in Library Science in order to get a job with a government office?  The last time we had a government shut-down was apparently 1995-1996 and a lot of people had to take time off without pay.  Is a Government Job really as secure as I've always thought it was?

Classes?

I am starting to look through the late Spring and Summer programs offered by the local Community Colleges.  I think an introductory course in accounting or possibly inventory management will be helpful in my job, not to mention part of my annual review in April.  It might give me an idea of whether or not this is something I want to pursue as a career.  I am also looking for a technical writing course as that is another possible career option.

An old high school friend of mine (who helped my boyfriend locate his new house) mentioned that his wife works for a local government contractor and wondered if I'd ever thought about sending my resumé over there.  I know that there are hiring bonuses for referrals and what not, so that is what prompted the question, but it's still something to think about.  One of my Hallmark co-workers' mom works in an area related to technical writing at the same company, if that is something I would like to pursue.

I sincerely like this job and the people here.  The benefits are very good and I am coming up on my additional third week of vacation this year, so I don't know that I am ready to rock the boat exactly.  But it's nice to know there are other options out there.  Part of the problem I ran into with my last job was that I was pretty much trapped in that job.  OR, at least, I thought I was.  I was worried when I was suddenly unemployed because I didn't know where I could go and make the same amount of money.  But the trapped feeling had a lot to do with my co-workers relying on me.  My boss would constantly tell me that she hoped I would never leave because she didn't know what she would do without me.  Clearly we've both seen we were wrong and our lives have moved on just fine from that fixed point in time.

Maybe this is part of being a grown-up; to think about one's options and make the best decision for one's own well-being.

Rats in a Maze



Baltimore Sun photo by Kim Hairston

 A few months ago, the state of Maryland installed speed cameras in the work zones on the major highways.  I was caught by one as I sped off to work one day and I've had a few friends who've been nabbed in a similar manner.  It's not a big deal, a small fine with no points.  But I learned to pay attention to the shoulder of the road and keep an eye out for the tell-tale trucks with the speed cameras attached to the front.

It took a little getting used to, but the position of the cameras never changes so I don't even think about it anymore.  Last night, going home, I realized that everyone else has figured this out as well.  The flow of traffic slows down significantly immediately before the location of the speed camera, then resumes normal rates of acceleration as soon as the camera is out of range.  The cars in the traffic behind someone who hasn't yet learned the system get impatient and zoom around and I wondered if these cameras were really effective.

Then it struck me that we were just like rats, or mice, in a maze where the scientists change the pattern every once in a while to see what will happen.  We've learned this new pattern and want to get through it as quickly as possible so we can enjoy our personal time.  All the speed camera people need to do is change the location of these machines every couple of weeks and they would be successful.  This would keep people guessing and they would be forced to maintain a lower speed until they were out of the work zone completely. 

Of course, there is the argument right now that these speed cameras are more of a revenue generator than a safety device.  Obviously, revenue is being generated and this is not a bad thing as far as the state budgets go, but is it really creating a safer environment?  For those of us that have learned the system, and for those that are impatient with other drivers who haven't, are accidents really being avoided or is this just another catalyst for reckless driving?

Relationships and Conspiracies

My Oberon! what visions have I seen!
Methought I was enamoured of an ass.A Midsummer Night's Dream, 4. 1

Have you ever had a friend date someone you didn't particularly like?  There's nothing obviously wrong with the person; they have a good job, treat your friend with respect, and all-in-all it's the best relationship your friend has ever been in.  Honestly, I am truly happy that my friend is dating someone who makes him/her happy.  (THE happiest I have seen him/her in the time we've been friends.)  But I don't get it, I suppose.  Obviously this is my friend's relationship and I don't have to live with his/her significant other, so it makes no difference if I like this person or not.  We all went out for dinner and all I could think of this morning was this quote from A Midsummer Night's Dream. 

It's not that I dislike that person altogether, but there are things that just rub me the wrong way.  Like a blatant disregard for contractual obligations.  A non-compete clause is put in a contract for a specific purpose and one signs it of his/her own free will.  Moonlighting can be acceptable under certain circumstances, but don't brag about how you can't let your company know you're doing x, y, or z because it would violate your agreement with said company.

Also, there was a discussion about Government Clearances for contractors.  This person has apparently been well informed that whatever happens in the polygraph test will follow you for the rest of your life.  Even if you don't get the clearance and don't work for a government contractor ever again.  Now, I don't agree with everything the government does.  I don't think anyone in this country could agree 100% with anything coming out of Washington right now or ever.  But I'm not so cynical that I believe the government is only trying to screw the people out of whatever they can.  I don't think there is a big conspiracy with Government Clearances and I certainly wouldn't have anything to hide if there were. 

The whole conversation just left a bad taste in my mouth.  And the look on my friend's face every time he/she looked at this person was one of absolute adoration.  Thus, all I could think of today was this quote.  But this person is not a terrible person, certainly my friend has dated far worse.  I just don't see a lot of double dating in our future.