2016 in Review

There are so many reasons that 2016 should have been one of the best years of my life and perhaps, years from now, when I look back on it it will be.  But with 2016 quickly coming to a close, I honestly feel like I won't be sorry to see it end.

At the beginning of the year, I graduated from Business School and finally took the sister trip we've been dreaming about for years.   At the end of the year, my sister was able to marry her girlfriend in one of the best ceremonies I've seen in a long time.  I was even able to finish the rough draft of a very promising novel during National Novel Writing Month.  But it was around November things started to take a nose dive and they haven't been able to recover at all.

There is the obvious disappointment, for a registered Democrat, in November.  But the fallout of that event and the friendships that have been strained have left me anything but Thankful in November.  And now, in December, my mother's car has been stolen.  Which makes it extremely difficult to feel goodwill towards men at a time when it is most needed.

Then there are the personal disappointments.  I interviewed for a job that ticks off all of my needs for a career in Accounting.  The interview went well and they actually offered me the position.  Unfortunately, I had to decline because of the pay rate.  No matter how I tried, I could not work my budget to accept a $10K pay cut to switch careers.  My own car needing some extensive repair work was a painful reminder that I cannot accept less than my current salary.

And I don't think that my potential career growth in my current company will be enough to allow me to start a family.  At 35, this is a major concern for me and I'm desperately trying not to get freaked out about the shrinking window of time before the biological clock goes off and I can't hit snooze on it anymore.

I have many things I want to accomplish before I have kids, but I don't know how it will all fit in with my current financial situation.  Which is not to say that kids and my plans are mutually exclusive, kids are actually part of that plan, it's just going to be a lot more difficult to make it all work the way I'd like it to.

Election 2016 - Personal Thoughts

I've been thinking on the events of the last few days a great deal.  I've had multiple discussions with people on both sides of the dividing line and with those trapped in the middle of the chaos that has erupted in our nation.  My arena is very small in the context of the country at large and my own opinion is inherently biased simply due to the fact that I am a human being with my own strengths and weaknesses.

In the midst of all of the arguments - of people yelling at each other and not listening - I am once again reminded of A Passage to India by E.M. Forster.  It's a favorite of mine and I've often felt that my life philosophy has been heavily influenced by its themes.  In particular, I've been thinking about the Marabar Caves and Mrs. Moore's experience there.

"The echo in  a Marabar cave is . . . entirely devoid of distinction.  Whatever is said, the same monotonous noise replies, and quivers up and down the walls until is is absorbed into the roof.  'Boum' is the sound as far as the human alphabet can express it, or 'bou-oum', or 'ou-boum' - utterly dull.  Hope, politeness, the blowing of a nose, the squeak of a boot, all produce 'boum'.  Even the striking of a match starts a little worm coiling, which is too small to complete a circle, but is eternally watchful.  And if several people talk at once an overlapping howling noise begins, echoes generate echoes, and the cave is stuffed with a snake composed of small snakes, which writhe independently. . . If one had spoken vileness in that place, or quoted lofty poetry, the comment would have been the same - 'ou-boum'.  If one had spoke with the tongues of angels and pleased for all the unhappiness and misunderstanding in the world, past, present, and to come, for all the misery men must undergo whatever their opinion and position, and however much they dodge or bluff - it would amount to the same, the serpent would descend and return to the ceiling."

If you ask a person who identifies with one major political party about the other, they will all tell you similar things:

1. The Other Political Party is Corrupt
2. The Other Political Party lacks morals
3. The Other Political Party doesn't care about the American People
4. The Other Political Party isn't listening to the struggles of everyday Americans
5. The Other Political Party wants to destroy America
6. The Other Political Party will drive us to economic ruin

If you belong to a major political party, think about your own party and how you view the opposing one and tell me this isn't true.  I would almost guarantee that the other parties and independents feel similarly about the major parties as a whole.  We're all shouting things into the void and its all coming back the same.

A big part of Forster's novel is around the Hinduism ideal of unity. I think most religions have the idea that all living things will be united in love as one.  But I think that we, as human beings, have difficulty in accepting the reality of what achieving this ideal actually means.  In order to be united as one we must learn to compromise on some things and to let go of the self.  There is no one perfect human vision of unity or peace where all involved get exactly what they want or deserve.