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Saturday, November 8, 2014

B-School Applications: Personal Statement Rough Draft

“. . .We feel, conceive or reason, laugh or weep;
Embrace fond woe, or cast our cares away:

It is the same! -For, be it joy or sorrow,
The path of its departure still is free:
Man's yesterday may ne'er be like his morrow;
Nought may endure but Mutablilty.”

- From “Mutability” by Percy Bysshe Shelley


From the very first visit I made to the Library of Congress, in school, I knew that I wanted to work there.  The historical, political, and cultural significance contained in those buildings is inspiring and every minute detail of the Jefferson Building contains a symbol reflecting our national heritage or an homage to the other cultures that influenced on our founding fathers.  There are many people in this world who, from a young age, know exactly what they want to do with the rest of their lives and some of them are even fortunate enough to attain those aspirations.  For the rest of us, however, our lives tend to be a series of compromises which slow our individual growth and interfere with our professional journey. 
My younger sister and I were the first in our family to even consider going to college and, growing up, we were always told we would have to win scholarships.  Our parents had lived paycheck to paycheck and, even though they wanted something better for their children, they did not have the means to provide for the educational foundation we would need.  But they laid a very prominent corner stone by instilling their value of education in us. Indeed, I worked diligently in high school and received a scholarship from the University of Maryland Baltimore County (UMBC).  My parents were unable to advise me when it came to applications, financial aid, college courses, or selecting a major.  I learned to be self reliant in wading through all the information and bold in seeking out counsel from advisers or professors.  I still had to work a full time job while attending classes to cover the remaining cost of my education.  It was often a struggle but it helped me develop exceptional time management skills and I know that everything I have accomplished has come from my own perseverance.

It wasn't until I was a sophomore in college that my mother's health became a cause for concern.  My parents divorced when I was eleven, so the responsibility of my mother's care fell to me.  I spent most of that year attending classes, visiting in the hospital, and working full eight hour shifts at my job.  The struggle to maintain my grade point average while dealing with these outside problems brought me to the decision to take a year off from school. It was one of the hardest choices I've ever had to make.  I wanted to pursue my own dreams but couldn't deny the help my family needed and my divided attention would only cause both to suffer.  I learned that it is better to do something well than to spread one's self too thin trying to maintain everything.  After a heart stent was implanted in her left anterior descending artery, and her physical health vastly improved, I felt I could return the majority of my attention back to school. 

Upon graduating from UMBC, I found it difficult to get a job with the federal government let alone in my field of study.  The economy was slowing down and, without an advanced degree, my future at the Library of Congress was in doubt.  I had envisioned a job in Editing, Substitute Teaching, or the Library Sciences, but my first job offer came from the Accounting department of a custom home builder and I've always felt that any positive opportunity is an experience waiting to happen.  Still, it was surprising to discover how the analytical skills I had developed in undergrad dovetailed with the skills I acquired working in Accounting.  When that company folded, during the beginning of the housing crisis, I had several months to re-evaluate my professional path and decided that, with my work experience, it was still possible for me to aim for a position at the Library of Congress though not the one originally envisioned.

During the years I was pursuing my Bachelor of Arts in English Literature, it seemed that my life was nothing but compromises; for my family, my full-time job, and my budget.  My personal goal of working at the Library of Congress was pushed further and further away until it seemed almost unattainable.  But life is about change and growing from those changes.  Without these challenges we would not have the opportunity to push our individual boundaries and learn all that we're capable of achieving.  I know that I have the discipline to make my studies a priority, the strength to make difficult life decisions, and the resilience to accept change.

Thryn - MVN - Official Chapter 1

She woke with a start, back in her bunk at SA-159.  The hum of the engines reassuring to her ears as her brain slowly came back into focus.  She wasn't used to dreaming much these days and this was the third time in the last six months.  The sweat on her skin was already starting to chill and the dampness made her sheets almost icy to the touch.  She shifted until her body was on something drier and tried to go back to sleep.  Even without a clock, she knew there were only a few more hours until Earth moon-rise.  Through the thickest walls on the farthest ship, it would whisper her name and call her from sleep; an unrequited love that neither of them could forget.  

Thryn tossed and turned in her bunk but sleep had completely receded from her and left her mind wondering along the shores of reality.  Humans could normally adjust their sleeping schedules to fit wherever they happened to be; they would fall into harmony with the nearest system and rely on those foreign stars to govern their days and nights.  The space stations were a little trickier, though,  with the humans experiencing about 15 sunrises on average in a single day, depending on the system and the station’s proximity to the central star, of course. Regardless, she'd never been able to break free of the Earth’s dictations and the moon continued to push and pull at her.


She leaned over to check the time and realized she was back on schedule with the ship’s clocks.   There was no point in trying to sleep any longer, so she finally crawled out of bed.  It immediately retracted back into the wall of her cramped room and the overhead lights came on.
“Good Evening, Thryn,” the computer’s voice greeted her.  “Would you like to hear the evening news?”
“Can you just give me the highlights, computer?”
“There is one item pertaining to the taxation of liquor, that might be of interest to you.”  In this incarnation she had taken up the role of bar owner at one of the pubs in the lower sector.  It allowed her to work when she wanted and still keep the appearance of having to make a living. 
“Save that item for me to review later.  Anything else?”  Thryn started the water in the shower.  It would be a few minutes before she stepped into the glass enclosure, the showers were never warm enough on this station and started out practically ice cold.  The humans complained about it every morning, but she mourned this inconvenience even more.  It wasn't that the cold bothered her, in fact her body let her live in conditions most humans could never bare, but she longed to feel warmth coursing through her.  A hot shower was the closest she ever came to replicating the sensation for herself without the aid of blood.    
“Joshua Monoceros, has arrived on board this afternoon for a benefit performance this Friday.”  Thryn stopped deader than usual.
“What benefit?”  
“The Red and Magenta Cross joint benefit concert tour.  The performance will be at the SA-159 Amphitheater.  Should I reserve tickets for you, Thryn?”  
“No, computer, thank you. That’s all for now.”  

Here was a prime example of the vampire living his life out loud.  Joshua Monoceros had been on the fame circuit for the last ten years.  He’d reached super stardom with his passion for helping charities, specifically those with a large supply of blood in their vaults, and was often depicted as an angel of mercy in the media.  They’d met once about a century ago and it had left a bad taste in Thryn’s mouth.  If it was coincidence, she just had to stay out of his way.  She weighed her odds, she'd never really been that lucky, and determined it was better to find him first.  She opened the door to the shower and waited for the steam to greet her, but the water had already run back to cold.  

******
Out in the thoroughfare the humans brushed past her; they were preoccupied with their minuscule lives and did not notice the monster within their midst.  Really they saw what they wanted to see and nothing more.  Thryn felt intoxicated with the scent of them and the warm caresses as they flowed around her.  
“Which one, which one?” she thought to herself as they skittered here and there.  It had to be someone healthy, someone strong enough to lose a pint or two and not draw medical attention to her habits.  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a tall specimen staring her down.  He was muscular and rugged, probably a freighter worker stopping over.  He looked older, but she guessed he was about 35.  It was a decent length of time for the body to mature and gave a richness to the blood provided they made an effort to take care of themselves.  There was no need to open up a psychic link between them, his intentions were painted across his face and the hunger in his eyes mirrored her own.  It really was not polite to play with one’s food, but he radiated arrogance and that made it all the more irresistible.  He sauntered over to the post she had taken up against the corner of a shop and leaned into her, resting his forearm above her head against building.  
“Hey,” he started, “my name is Kyle.”   Kyle played with the collar on her shirt before finally asking, “What is your name?”  
“Does it really matter?”  
“No, I guess it really doesn't,” he agreed letting his hand roam lower to graze her breast.  Then he grabbed her arm and pulled her into the alley.  He pushed her up against the wall and began to fumble at her clothing, “come on, I don't bite.”
“I do, ” she purred as she pulled him closer to her.  Their eyes met and she opened the part of herself that let her control the humans.  Some called it glamour, some called it mind control, the result was still the same.  All the tension in his muscles released and she could feel his mind open to her. There was so much floating around in there.  He had come in this afternoon, as she had suspected, though not on a freighter.  A transport ship was a little fancier than she had expected but what surprised her was that Joshua Monoceros had been on the same transport.  Kyle was not part of the entourage, but his memories were offering a huge head start for her.   She stroked the side of his face with the back of her hand and he tilted his head to reveal his neck.  “That's a good boy”

Friday, August 29, 2014

Writing Idea - Milady De Winter

The oars cut through the water as the executioner pushed and pulled them closer to the small island in the middle of the lake.  Milady shivered in her thin, white chemise and the early october morning wasn't entirely to blame.  Four men were vanishing into the mists behind them; her jury and executioners but hardly her peers.  Not one of them was qualified to judge her guilt.  Only the silent man in the boat could accuse her lawfully, but even he didn't know the full story.  In her short 25 years, she'd wracked up quite a debt and if there was a God she would have much to answer for.  But, then, if there had been a God she would never have gone so far.

When she'd been a child, her faith was unflinching.  Her father had told her there was a God and that he would protect them always.  This was more than enough reason for her and she'd spent many hours in prayer for her family and neighbors.  But her Father's God had not protected him in the King's war and he'd not tilled the fields in his absence and he hadn't heard her prayers when her mother's new husband had forced his way into her room.


Monday, January 20, 2014

My Mediocre Vampire Novel

In thinking about writing my mediocre vampire novel (MVN), I realize that it might be beneficial to watch the Twilight movie series.  I have avoided it thus far, but there's something they're selling to the teenage girls that could be to my benefit to analyze. 

That being said, I realize I stopped after season 2, episode 4 of my Buffy the Vampire Slayer recaps and commentary.  Since this is a far superior vampire series, I'm wondering if my first focus should be on completing this set of entries.  It would serve two purposes, getting me back into the habit of writing regularly and immersing myself yet again into the vampire lore.  Plus, I get the added bonus of watching one of my favorite shows again.

My sister and I have been watching Lost Girl on Netflix and it has rekindled my interest in writing my MVN. Probably the most interesting thing about this show is seeing how the female characters are so different than other shows that are currently on stations like the WB/CW or whatever it's called now.  It's so much closer to what Whedon was trying to achieve with Buffy than a lot of the television we've seen since.  While this show may not have the best acting, or sometimes even the best writing, there is something so endearing (and refreshing) about the friendship between Bo and Kenzi that I really don't care.

My point, is that more research is needed to get me into the right head space to write the MVN.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Baltimore CASH Campaign

Saturday, I attended training so I can volunteer with Baltimore CASH Campaign at Towson University to prepare taxes for lower income families. I volunteered last year and, even though it was difficult work at times, I found it incredibly rewarding to help people with the new skills I learned in school.  I am feeling more confident about it this year, however, because I've just finished a semester of Tax Accounting and feel that I have a better understanding of the process.  The Basic Level this year will include itemization and a few other things that I didn't deal with last year.  I was able to attend the returning preparers training and found that I had a deeper understanding of the software.

While I was there, I made a contact with Habitat for Humanity of the Chesapeake and I am so excited to volunteer with their organization as well.  As it happens, they don't just build houses.  They also provide a means to furnish those houses and to help maintain them.  The organization also restores some of the abandoned row-homes here in Baltimore.  My new contact was telling me that there are so many programs offered by the city to help lower income individuals from drowning in property taxes and that most citizens aren't even aware they can get that kind of help.  Volunteering with Habitat for Humanity isn't just about getting out there and swinging a hammer, there are so many other ways one can be of help to the community.

I am so excited about these opportunities and I hope that I can find ways to volunteer with these organizations throughout the year and not just at tax time.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Thryn - World Building - 1 hour timed writing

This world is so dark and grey; the sun shines through a dark filter and can’t seem to reach the lonely souls scrambling around on the ground.  It provides light without warmth and you can feel the chill creeping into your bones long before the winter actually makes its appearance.  Even fair weather days don’t seem to inspire and the people trudge along with half-vacant expressions. They are lost without their beacon.  I’ve watched them for generations on this colony, pushing their way through the landscape like ants.  Roads course through the green, ebbing and flowing like concrete rivers.  New homes and fields appear on each supply run; Entire communities rising, flourishing, and then falling into disrepair.  Husks of human ingenuity left behind to fend for themselves against the harsh elements of this foreign world.
But up here there is one season and the sun patiently waits.  In this portion of the atmosphere between the planet and outer space, it appears as it wants to all year long; reaching out to wrap you in blue sky and fluffy white clouds.  Protected by the glass on the cockpit, I can almost remember that feeling of hope most humans experience when they get above the cloud line.  That realization that one’s place in this life is so small and insignificant in the context of the universe.   But I’ve been here longer than the idea for their terraformed planet and realize I have more in common with the universe than the pestilence that crawls along the landscape below.   My people are not constrained by the element of time and we make patience an art form.

 ******

“On the eve of one’s last sunset, when one first goes to ground, there is a transformation that occurs while you sleep.  Between the soil, the blood, and the sun that has saturated them both for more than a millennia, there is a unique bond.  When we are forming our new bodies in this nutrient rich culture, the sun ingrains itself and is encoded to our very DNA.  This sun on this planet will forever hold sway over your habits and the stars surrounding other worlds will never compare.   Perhaps, when you are older, you will be able to venture as far from your home as I do, but you will always feel it calling to you.”

Notes:

Vampires cannot be created in space stations – it requires the soil and the sun of a planet

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Thryn - Creative Writing#1

It was a beautiful day, the weather was starting to show its winter colors and the air held slightly more chill than it had the previous week.   Winter coats were out in the park but there were still plenty of people outside trying to squeeze as much sunshine out of the fallen leaves as they could.  If the trees had not been as bare, she probably never would have seen it huddled up under the bushes.  Her gaze had been drawn to some movement ahead of her on the path -  two eyes stared back at her.   It was some kind of animal, scared and shaking in the underbrush, not really a dog but it really wasn't anything else.  There was a mutual sense of otherness, it whimpered and cowered away from her as she reached out to it.  Somehow she managed to catch it and bundle it up in her coat before anyone else could see it.  It squirmed in her arms and nearly broke free several times.  Its cries were growing louder and a small crowd was watching as Thryn moved out of the park and back to her apartment.  She felt compelled to protect this bizarre animal, but could not be entirely sure from what.  Her head felt fuzzy as she tried to sort through the details.  There was something special about this creature, something that was important to the planet.  She heard footsteps on the roof and hid the thing only moments before someone came crashing through her window.  There were men in black masks and clothes pouring through the window and her only exits were being cut off.  She could feel the panic rising in her throat.

That's when she woke with a start, back in her bunk at SA-159.  The hum of the engines reassuring to her ears as her brain slowly came back into focus.  She wasn't used to dreaming much these days and this was the third time in the last six months she'd dreamt about this creature.  The sweat on her skin was already starting to chill and the dampness made her sheets almost icy to the touch.  She shifted until her body was on something drier and tried to go back to sleep.  Even without a clock, she knew there were only a few more hours until Earth moon-rise.  
The sun always spoke to her, it did not matter how long it had been since they had last met.  Through the thickest walls on the farthest ship, it would whisper her name and call her from sleep; an unrequited love that neither of them could forget.  It had been easy at first, catch a freighter out to the farthest star system, live most of your life within the metal walls of a ship.  A large enough colony or base and no one ever questioned the odd sickness that struck the crew.  The occasional death was even expected this far out in space.  She’d been surprised her people had not thought of it sooner and disappointed that few had followed her.  
There were drawbacks, of course. The meals eaten by the crew members, though chock full of all the nutrients she required in their blood, lacked a certain flavor that made it especially enjoyable.  On the positive side, she was able to commiserate with them wholeheartedly whenever they would complain about the rations they received and how they longed for the grain-fed cows of home.  Even though most humans on the ships were paler than Earth Humans could ever be, she was more so and the lighting in the ships did little to downplay that fact.  On Earth, she would have been relegated to the shadows and her marble skin would have been easier to hide.  However, some of the lesser stars out here were barely a threat through the solar glass of these newer models; leaving one with a mild sunburn at most and tanning the skin for a significant period of time at best.  
Lately, though, she found herself picking routes closer and closer to Earth.  There were stars of equal and greater power throughout the universe, but the Earth’s Sun still controlled the ebb and flow of her appetite in these far reaches.  And now, it was beckoning her home for some purpose she had yet to puzzle out.  She had passed countless systems in her years and none of their stars ever pulled at her the way her own had.  Its golden bands were woven deeply into her veins and she served at its pleasure.  
Thryn tossed and turned in her bunk but sleep had completely receded from her and left her mind wondering along the shores of reality.  Most humans could adjust their sleeping schedules to fit wherever they happened to be; they would fall into harmony with the nearest system and rely on those foreign stars to govern their days and nights.  This was easier, of course, in the colonies where the planets or moons turned on an axis and there were more viewing portals for natural light.  The space stations were a little trickier  with the humans experiencing about 15 sunrises on average in a single day, depending on the system and the station’s proximity to the central star, of course.  The ones most affected by these excessive dawns were the crew members who had access to viewing stations or the control deck.  Their bodies never seemed to find the right rhythm and they walked around with perpetual dark circles under their eyes.  Only the officers and those employed doing menial tasks in the belly of the stations found a proper rest on a regular basis.  The officers because they were provided with everything and the others because they were provided with nothing.  She had never been able to break free of the Earth’s dictations and could pass herself off in the lower levels more easily.
Thryn’s existence in space relied on her ability to appear as uninteresting as possible and pass amongst the lower level crew members as an equal.  She learned years ago that the key to living in public was to be as inconspicuous as possible or to go completely overboard and demand every one’s attention by adopting a certain celebrity.  She had tried them both over the course of her time in this existence and found  fame was too time consuming to maintain as a pretense.  Even when the humans latched on and perpetuated the myth for her, it required too much energy  and came with too little freedom to be the least bit enjoyable.  
In this incarnation she had taken up the role of bar owner of one of the pubs in the lower sector  of SA-159.  It allowed her to work when she wanted and still keep the appearance of having to make a living. She was back on schedule with the ship’s clocks and should make an appearance when the patrons would notice her.  Once the decision had been made there really was no point in trying to sleep any longer, so she finally crawled out of bed.  It immediately retracted back into the wall of her room and the overhead lights came on.
“Good Evening, Thryn,” the computer’s voice greeted her.  “Would you like to hear the evening news?”
“Can you just give me the highlights, computer?”
“There is one item pertaining to the taxation of liquor, that might be of interest to you.”
“Save that item for me to review later.  Anything else?”  Thryn had started the water in the shower.  It would be a few minutes before she stepped into the glass enclosure, the showers were never warm enough on this station and started out practically ice cold.  The humans complained about it every morning, but she mourned this inconvenience even more.  Generating the pretense of body heat was necessary at times, but she could only send out the sensation to others through mental trickery.  A hot shower was the closest she ever came to replicating the sensation for herself without the aid of blood.   It was not just the appetite that drove her to hunt, it was also the warmth their blood carried.  A full meal could keep her warm for days, but those were rare in such close quarters.  The cold did not bother her and her body let her live in conditions most humans could never bare, but she longed to feel the warmth coursing through her.   
“Joshua McSuperstar, has arrived on board this afternoon for a benefit performance this Friday.”  Thryn stopped deader than usual.
“What is the benefit for?”  
“The Red and Magenta Cross joint benefit concert tour.  The performance will be at the SA-159 Amphitheatre.  Should I reserve tickets for you, Thryn?”
“No, computer, thank you. That’s all for now.”
Here was a prime example of the vampire living his life out loud.  Joshua McSuperstar had been on the fame circuit for the last ten years.  He’d reached super stardom with his passion for helping charities, specifically those with a large supply of blood in their vaults, and was often depicted as an Angel of mercy in the media.  They’d met once about a century ago and it had left a bad taste in Thryn’s mouth.  If it was coincidence, it was better that she stayed out of the luxury levels until after the concert.  If it wasn’t, he’d find her no matter where she was.  She weighed her odds, it could be a coincidence that he was this far out, but she had never really been that lucky.  She opened the door to the shower and waited for the steam to greet her, but the water had already run back to cold.  
“Okay,” she thought to herself, “he’s already starting to piss in my cornflakes.”  First things, first.  She would pick up a quick snack, and allow herself to feel human for at least a few moments,  and then she would have to hunt down Josh before he found her.  



Out in the thoroughfare the humans brushed past her; they were preoccupied with their minuscule lives and did not notice the monster within their midst.  Really they saw what they wanted to see and nothing more.  Thryn felt intoxicated with the scent of them and the warm caresses as they flowed around her.  
“Which one, which one?” she thought to herself as they skittered here and there.  It had to be someone healthy, someone strong enough to lose a pint or two and not draw medical attention to her habits.  Out of the corner of her eye, she saw a tall specimen staring her down.  He was muscular and rugged, probably a freighter worker stopping over.  He looked older, but she guessed he was about 35.  It was a decent length of time for the body to mature and gave a richness to the blood provided they made an effort to take care of themselves.  There was no need to open up a psychic link between them, his intentions were painted across his face and the hunger in his eyes mirrored her own.  It really was not polite to play with one’s food, but he radiated arrogance as he sauntered over to the post she had taken up against the corner of a shop and that made it all the more irresistible.  He leaned into her and rested his forearm above her head on the building.  
“Hey,” he started, “my name is Kyle.  I am about to say something incredibly cliche and slightly creepy.”   Kyle played with the collar on her shirt before finally asking, “What is your name?”  
“Does it really matter?”  
“No, I guess it really doesn't,” he agreed letting his hand roam lower to graze her breast.  Then he grabbed her arm and pulled her into the alley.  He pushed her up against the wall and began to fumble at her clothing, “come on, I don't bite.”
“I do, ” she purred as she pulled him closer to her.  Their eyes met and she opened the part of herself that let her control the humans.  Some called it glamour, some called it mind control, the result was still the same.  All the tension in his muscles released and she could feel his mind open to her. There was so much floating around in there.  He had come in this afternoon, as she had suspected, though not on a freighter.  A transport ship was a little fancier than she had expected but what surprised her was that Joshua McSuperstar had been on the same transport.  Kyle was not part of the entourage, but his memories were offering a huge head start for her.   She stroked the side of his face with the back of her hand and he tilted his head to reveal his neck.  “That's a good boy”
 

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

2014 Goals

Long ago, I decided not to have resolutions at New Year's - I felt that it set up for failure and disappointment.  Part I my yearly ritual, after Danielle leaves for home and I start to feel the melancholy that inevitably follows, is to look forward to the new year and set a list of goals I'd like to achieve.  Some of them fit in with a larger plan, i.e. Graduate School, and some are purely for the immediate future.

Even though I did not write them down in a formal blog post, there were several things that I mentioned throughout the year.  So, to begin, let's take a look back at last year's 2013 goals:

  1. Buy a House - this was most definitely achieved in 2013!
  2. Quit Hallmark - an ongoing goal for several years, but finally achieved in July of 2013.
  3. More creative writing - I have one story I've been working on this year.  Mostly when I'm in an airplane and have nothing else I can do for 2 hours.
  4. Europe Trip with Danielle - we made it to London, Cardiff, and Dublin with Andrea in May/June of 2013.
  5. Pay off Credit Card Debt - refinanced with some student loan money and then wracked it up again  :(
  6. More contact with friends who live out of state- didn't do so well on this.  Because of goal#1 I didn't even make it down for my annual visit with J & H.
All in all, not a bad year for my goals.  There were so many things that happened it's difficult to remember it all now.  Dad was able to legally wed Stepdaddy M in Maryland.  My sister graduated from business school and we took our youngest cousin to the ceremony in Atlanta.

2014 has some big shoes to fill, but I think it will be just as fantastic as this year.  New Goals:

  1. Focus more on experiences and less on things
  2. Writing more during breaks from school.
  3. Plan one additional monthly event for the Scotch Sippers meetup.
  4. Go to the gym 3 times a week during breaks and at least 1 time a week during the semester.
  5. Paint the living room and/or master bedroom before the start of the fall semester.
  6. Have a housewarming party/birthday party.
  7. Listen more and complain less
  8. Apply to jobs in the accounting field
  9. Budget more effectively
  10. Plan a big trip for end of 2014, possibly early 2015.
Some of these are very practical and some are pie in the sky.  Really curious to see where the new year leads and what I will be able to accomplish for myself.