A Season of Loss

Tomorrow, my sister and her fiancée, A,  will say goodbye to A's uncle at a funeral service in Georgia.  Shortly before the Thanksgiving holiday, he was found dead in his apartment.  A had been concerned that she hadn't heard from him in a few weeks and she'd been calling around to friends and relatives to see if they'd heard from him.  She even went so far as to search through John Doe lists in a couple of tourist spots he'd talked about visiting after his retirement was finalized in October of this year.

His loss has been an incredible blow to my sister and her fiancée.  He was one of the few family member's A has that was supportive.  He was able to offer advice in the same way that a father would and he gave her the sense of family that she isn't able to get from her immediate family.  And vice versa.  It's a truly tragic event.

I was not close to him and I don't know much about his story.  I do know that his family cast him out for being gay and he had to make a life of his own at the tender age of 18. He did not get the same benefit of college or other financial assistance from his family yet he was able to have a successful career and do well for himself.  I have heard so many other stories from the LGBT community where family disownment did not have such a positive outcome.  So I know how difficult it must have been to carve out this life for himself.

We spent most of Thanksgiving going through papers.  A was his closest relative so the handling of his estate has fallen to her until they can confirm the status of a will and his actual wishes.  There were stacks of papers and photographs, thank you letters from his clients, travel brochures, and investment information.  An entire life flattened and categorized.

There have been a few people at work that have also lost loved ones recently.  The holidays are hard enough as it is and now they have this added burden that they'll remember every year.   With the joy there will be the dull ache of the loss of this loved one.  I know my grandfather dealt with the memory of his mother's death at Christmas every year.