A Season of Loss

Tomorrow, my sister and her fiancée, A,  will say goodbye to A's uncle at a funeral service in Georgia.  Shortly before the Thanksgiving holiday, he was found dead in his apartment.  A had been concerned that she hadn't heard from him in a few weeks and she'd been calling around to friends and relatives to see if they'd heard from him.  She even went so far as to search through John Doe lists in a couple of tourist spots he'd talked about visiting after his retirement was finalized in October of this year.

His loss has been an incredible blow to my sister and her fiancée.  He was one of the few family member's A has that was supportive.  He was able to offer advice in the same way that a father would and he gave her the sense of family that she isn't able to get from her immediate family.  And vice versa.  It's a truly tragic event.

I was not close to him and I don't know much about his story.  I do know that his family cast him out for being gay and he had to make a life of his own at the tender age of 18. He did not get the same benefit of college or other financial assistance from his family yet he was able to have a successful career and do well for himself.  I have heard so many other stories from the LGBT community where family disownment did not have such a positive outcome.  So I know how difficult it must have been to carve out this life for himself.

We spent most of Thanksgiving going through papers.  A was his closest relative so the handling of his estate has fallen to her until they can confirm the status of a will and his actual wishes.  There were stacks of papers and photographs, thank you letters from his clients, travel brochures, and investment information.  An entire life flattened and categorized.

There have been a few people at work that have also lost loved ones recently.  The holidays are hard enough as it is and now they have this added burden that they'll remember every year.   With the joy there will be the dull ache of the loss of this loved one.  I know my grandfather dealt with the memory of his mother's death at Christmas every year.

December

I'm starting off December with a cold I caught from my sister while visiting her for Thanksgiving.  After a week of progressively worse symptoms, despite my attempts to self-medicate with DayQuil/NyQuil/Mucinex, I finally went to the Target Clinic this past weekend.  It was actually a pleasant experience.

I had some free time before my Hallmark shift and knew I had very limited PTO at my day job, so I got out of bed earlier than I felt like it and went to the Target near my Hallmark job.  I figured even if the wait for the Clinic was ridiculous at least I would already be in the area for work.  The wait was exactly half an hour and they gave me a pager so I could walk around the store or go get some tea in the café.  This proved to be the best part of the service they offered, simply because walking around kept my sinuses clearer and allowed me to feel a little less miserable.

It was determined that I should have anti-biotics.  Now, I hate to take anti-biotics unless absolutely necessary.  They are over prescribed, pumped into our farm animals, and we're in danger of letting the bacteria evolve past our ability to treat it.  But having gone more than a week with my usual cold medicines and developing a nagging hacking cough after about a week of trying to treat this, I realized that maybe there is more going on than the common cold.  So I surrendered and started the anti-biotic yesterday.  Fortunately, I can already say things are looking up.  I don't think I'm quite back to singing ability, but my voice doesn't sound like my smoker grandmother's either.

Now, I am sitting at my desk trying not to cough as often as I need to.  I know how annoying it is for everyone else in the office and I've even had one girl ban me from her area entirely.  Apparently, when I get sick even if it's only for a couple of days, because I have the immune system of steel, it's really bad and it takes everyone else several weeks to recover.  Most of us have used our PTO and are just trying to make it through these next three weeks as quickly and as healthy as possible, so I understand her paranoia.  But it still hurts my feelings a little bit.