14 Years Ago

There was a little boy born into my family 14 years ago today.  I was only 16 at the time and he had my heart instantly.  He was my Aunt's third child and my youngest cousin.  The Orioles had a legitimate chance at the World Series and my Mommom had another two months to live.  It was taking care of him in the aftermath of her unexpected death that helped create the bond I have with him.  I would do anything I could to protect that little boy.

Of course, he is not so little anymore.  He's much much taller than I am and off at music camp creating his own future.  There are so many worries I have for him.  He came out to me, and eventually the rest of his family, last year and there was a fair amount of drama surrounding it.  Not from the family necessarily but from having to deal with church and his social groups.  It was really the adults that made it a problem and not his peers.  At 13, he knew who he was and wasn't afraid to be himself and I could not have been prouder of him.  Since then, he's become really involved in the church and I know I've read this story before.  My father did the same things when he was that age.  And even though that story has a much better ending to it now, there was a lot of pain for my father that I hope my cousin will be able to avoid.

He could really accomplish a lot in his life and I sincerely hope that he is able to see his own potential.  I hope that he has bigger dreams than the border of Harford County and closer to my sister's than any of his other family members.  I try to stress that to him when I can.  That even though his life sucks right now, it won't always be that way and he has the power to make his own future.  But then I get phone calls while he's on a family vacation because there was a fight and he doesn't know how to handle it.

I hope that I'm helping in the same way that my Aunt helped me get through my formative years with Jim.  Our parents don't always make the best decisions but they do always love us.  I hope that he can see that in 5, 10, 20 years when he looks back on his childhood.  Mostly, I hope that he can come through all of these things a stronger and better person than his parents.  I hope he can possess all of their good qualities and very few of their faults.  That he can live a healthy grown-up life and stay in touch with me and Danielle no matter where his life takes him.