School Anxiety

For some reason today I had a small attack of panic regarding my class that is supposed to start tomorrow.  I started wondering how many weeks the class was going to be and did I sign up for the right semester.  I tried to find the information online but could no longer find the class on the school's website.  So then I really started to worry.  What if the class started last week, or last semester, and I had completely missed it? 

I know that this was an unreasonable fear.  I signed up for the class months ago after talking to an advisor at "JCC" and then paid for it on the spot.  It's been a done deal since before the summer began and I hadn't given it a second thought, or second guessed myself, until today.  I actually had to call the school and ask the registration and records people if I had the correct information.  The woman laughed a little and I apologized for being so paranoid and she said that she wished more people were as conscientious about their schedules.

So, it starts tomorrow.  I go back to school, even if only for a class, and I will know if about 5-8 weeks if this is something I actually want to do for the next 30 years of my life.  Up to this point, I've been a gypsy in my professional life.  I've gone from industry to industry just doing the work they'll pay me to do.  But this could be the start of actually defining a career for myself and that's very exciting.  I can still go from industry to industry if I want, but I won't have to start all over from the beginning when I get there, I'll be in the Accounting track. 

I was so excited this morning that I woke up before my alarm.  If you know me at all, you know that mornings are not my forté and that waking up before my alarm is usually a sign that something is very wrong or it's Christmas.  This was closer to that Christmas feeling than it was something wrong.  I've always been excited about school, it was never something I dreaded or wished would end prematurely.  My thought process driving home tonight was, tomorrow I'm going to learn something new.  And that joy is so overwhelming for me.  But it's also coupled with the worries of what if I don't like it, what if the class isn't on my level (either too fast or too slow), what if I am just not any good at it...Tomorrow we begin to get the answers to these.