Randomness

This morning, while searching through Etsy for possible co-worker Christmas gift ideas, I came across a Halloween costume (A Roman Toga) that brought up a neglected memory for me.

Picture this:  Little Town, Havre de Grace, 1993, seventh grade social studies class with Mr. Ewart.  We were studying the Ancient Greek and Roman Civilizations and were present projects to the class.  Some people made traditional Greek or Italian foods for mass consumption, some made dioramas, others present special reports on aspects of these ancient lives.  I decided to focus on the clothing, for some reason.  I wasn't exactly fashion conscious in those days, and not much better now, so I'm not sure why I picked this one.  Except that possibly it had the chance I would get to dress in a costume.

I remember that Mom was very helpful in putting together my presentation.  We went to the library together and she helped me to do some of my first major research as a student.  We found this amazing book that gave detailed descriptions of how the articles of clothing were shaped and then worn.  Because the measurements for these garments would have required a lot of fabric and extra help in displaying them to the class, it was decided that it would be easier for me to show the proper way to wear a Palla (or a Pallium for the men) if I made Barbie sized costumes.

Mom did a great job putting together a Tunic for my Derek Rocker Barbie doll and a Stola for my Dana Rocker Barbie Doll.  We wrapped a gold colored ribbon around the torso of the Dana Doll and mom used gold colored cross-stitch floss as the closures on the Stola.  Our research told us that the color, purple, was an indicator of royalty or at least the very wealthy so we chose that for the Palla and Pallium.  They were made out of felt and wrapped very easily around the dolls.  Then mom cut out little shoes, using a tan color felt, and sewed them to the feet of the dolls using the gold-colored floss so they looked like sandals.

I kept those dolls in those costumes for a very long time and tried to incorporate them into the story lines my sister and I would create.  I kind of wish I had them today or at the very least a picture of them.  I remember them being so detailed and cool.  I wish I had these memories of my mother more readily available.

Existential Joss Whedon

I picked up a copy of The Existential Joss Whedon: Evil and Human Freedom in Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, and Serenity, by J. Michael Richardson and J. Douglas Rabb, on the Kindle app on my phone.  (Normal copy would cost about $35 and the Kindle edition was $15.)  I have only read through about 14% of it, but I am having a hard time putting it down.  First of all, it discusses important plot lines and character development from one (some) of my favorite shows.  Second, it breaks down Existentialism into digestible pieces of information that I can comprehend.

The one that caught my attention last night was in chapter three, entitled "Buffy, Faith, and Bad Faith: Choosing to Be the Chosen One."  In the chapter it starts discussing Jean-Paul Sartre and the episode of Firefly, "Objects in Space."  The Richardson and Rabb talk about Sartre's idea of freedom.

We also encounter other people.  Unlike mere physical objects, they too have freedom, plans and projects which may, Sartre would say must, conflict with our own.  To reduce this conflict we do what we can, always in Bad Faith, to negate their freedom or to deny our own freedom.  At some level, we also want to be recognized by these other persons, but recognized as free conscious beings, not the mere things or objects to which they, also in Bad Faith, would like to reduce us in order to preserve their own precious freedom.  

And it just sort of clicked for me.  Of course, the example in the book of a woman out on a date could have helped with that as well.  It is incredibly easy to think of other people as two dimensional characters or objects filling up the spaces in our lives.  We are the center of our own lives; the stars of our own sitcoms, if you will, and everyone else is a supporting cast member. 

When I'm driving, usually home from a long day, I often think about the people in the other cars on the road.  They are all going somewhere, with some agenda in mind, and we wish everyone else would get off the road so we could get where we're going faster.  I often think that my problem is that I "deny [my] own freedom" too much when interacting with other people.  I'm far more concerned about the well being of others than I am about myself.  I have this sense of fairness that few people seem to have.  I will be paralyzed by indecision or avoid a situation altogether rather than make a choice that will cause someone to be harmed in some way.  Of course, this is not healthy and I am getting better at it. 

Dream Screens

A friend of mine posted this article on Facebook the other day: Gizmodo Article - Scientists Reconstruct Video Clips from Brain Activity.  And I couldn't help but find it fascinating.  Of course, the idea of being able to record one's own dreams is exciting.  Most of mine are pretty entertaining and make for great story ideas.  But, of course, I never seem to finish them before the enthusiasm runs out or before pieces of it start to fade.  Others are confusing or down right embarrassing, so I don't know that I would want to relive those in my waking hours.  It would certainly help with the analyzing of dreams as one must rely entirely upon one's own memory for these things. 

I was thinking mostly of the movie, Bicentennial Man, and the scene where the father asks to have his daughter's wedding replayed so he can relive the memory.  Aren't there a few memories you wish you could revisit with a little more clarity?  Once they perfect this new scientific ability, and include sound, there are a lot of things I would like to remember.  Like the sound of my Mommom's voice.  I can almost remember it, but it's been so long I'm not even sure if it's close any more.  My Poppop dancing with a broom while I waited for the school bus. 

Then I wonder, if you could perfect this technology to the point where one could call up memories at will.  Would this be viable evidence in court cases?  Could we monitor brain activity as a person goes through their day?  One could almost go paranoid about the possibilities.  I mean the thought police could become a legitimate thing.  For every cool possibility there is also a frightening application.

Elton John and Tim Rice's Aida

Today is my sister's two year anniversary with her girlfriend.  It hasn't been an easy road for either of them, but I am glad to see that they are willing to work together through the rough spots.  It's really what a grown-up relationship is about and I'm glad that my sister has found someone with whom she can be happy even through the worst of times.   They are going to see a production of Wicked in Atlanta to celebrate.  Neither of them has seen the play, only heard the music, and I am loathe to tell them anything about it.  Though I did tell my sister that the ending was not what I expected. (She reads this blog, so I won't go into detail.)

This started us on a discussion of  "uplifting" musicals we've seen.  Starting with Les Miserables, which is probably one of the most depressing stories ever.  But such a wonderful show that I have seen it several times.  Then on to Phantom of the Opera, which seems happy in theory but really the Phantom is a sad character.  Finally, my sister brings up Aida.

Many years ago, my father took us to see the  Disney production of Aida, written by Elton John and Tim Rice, and I find I often think of it.  At the time, I identified a lot with the character of Amneris.  She's in love/engaged to Radames and he's in love with Aida.  In any love triangle, I will always identify with the one that has been left behind; Amneris, Eponine, Duckie. 

We talked about the oh so "happy" ending where Aida and Radames are buried alive together but find each other again thousands of years later in their reincarnated forms.  Which is all well and good for Aida and Radames but what about Amneris?  Oh sure, she gets to be queen and rule over Egypt.

Then I realized that I've been thinking about this musical in completely the wrong fashion.  Sure Aida and Radames confessed undying love for each other and get a second chance to have a life together.  But Amneris is really the winner here.  Had she and Radames married, he would have become Pharoah in Egypt and she would have continued on as merely his wife, pretending to be content to throw parties and wear fashionable clothes for attention.  If he hadn't met Aida when he did, he most likely would have still gone on to extra-marital affairs and both he and Amneris would have lived an unhappy and empty life alone together.

But, thankfully, he did cheat on his fiancée and betray his entire country in the name of love or something like that.   Amneris had to assume the throne upon the death of her father, since there was no husband in sight, and subsequently brought about a generation of peace and prosperity to her people.  Of course, she then at to sit in judgement of her former fiancé in court, which is always awkward.   But being a new leader and knowing that her former lover was involved in honest to goodness treason, Amneris had little choice but to uphold the laws of her people in his punishment.  Plus there is the added bonus of burying her ex and his lover alive together.  It's really a win-win-win when you think about it.

Ten Years...



littlesam @ the WTC

 My father took this picture on a trip to NYC more than a decade ago.  I always thought it was a cool picture but, now, it's chilling to think about how important it's become in my father's photo albums because of the 9/11 Attacks.  It makes me think of how temporary life can be.  I don't just mean the lives of individuals, though none of us are guaranteed tomorrow, but the transience of everything around us. 

My family typically vacations on Hatteras Island in North Carolina the week after Labor Day, in the off season.  We have a routine, places we visit, and restaurants we know.  This year, we had to move a little bit to the north and rent a place on Bodie Island because of the most recent hurricane.  (Irene opened up a new inlet on Hatteras Island and destroyed the highway in about four places.)  The photos of the aftermath are sad.  Our familiar places are boarded up and the residents are completely cut-off from the mainland.  I am not trying to compare this to the World Trade Center or even New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina.  The residents of the Outer Banks will certainly feel the effects of Hurricane Irene for a while, but there is no comparison in terms of loss of life and devastation.  My point is that we build these lives and there is nothing permanent about them.

It brings me back to my favorite quote in A Passage to India:

It matters so little to the majority of living creatures what the minority, that calls itself human, desires or decides. Most of the inhabitants of India do not mind how India is governed. Nor are the lower animals of England concerned about England, but in the tropics the indifference is more prominent, the inarticulate world is closer at hand and readier to resume control as soon as men are tired. ~ A Passage to India, E.M. Forester.

I've also been watching Life After People on the History Channel, so I am sure that is influencing a lot of this entry.  The one I've recently seen was about the crumbling of buildings in cities without human maintenance.  They looked specifically at the abandoned buildings in Detroit and how they are weathering the elements without constant upkeep.  It was both interesting and frightening to watch how much effort goes into maintaining the ordered structure of our lives.  We take so many things for granted in this society, globally and nationally.

We are scrambling around trying to create meaning and order out of chaos and, for the most part, we do a very good job of it.  From our scientific hierarchy of biological classifications to sort and understand the organisms around us to Standard & Poor's financial rating system to help us understand if a country can pay off its debts to the Spectral Classification of Stars to Cosmo's "What Kind of Guy Are You Dating?" Quiz.  We want everything to fit in neat little boxes.  While these classifications and rating systems help us to digest information quickly, aide in a higher retention of knowledge, or help us make decisions about our lives, they also lull us into a false sense of security. 

What I learned on September 11, 2001 was that life isn't predictable.  There are some things you just can't manage or control no matter how much you may try.  Sometimes your family is out of touch in a dangerous area and you just have to wait for news.  Sometimes terrible things happen to very good people and there is no way to justify it.  I also learned that it's not always a question of right and wrong.  Which brings me to my other favorite quote:

How I envy the youg. For them everything is so clear. Things seem to be either one way or another. It is only with a little age that you begin to see life as a series of compromises. But even in compromising one must draw a line. ~Swing Kids (1993)

I am going to wrap up this entry because I can tell that I've touched on a lot of things but haven't really gone in depth with any them.  My brain is thinking much faster than I can type and I am afraid I will stop making sense.

Beach Time with the Fam



At the Lemon Drop - courtesy of Litlesam

 I just spent the last week at the beach with my family.  It was definitely an experience and a break I really needed.

The photo to the right was taken on our last day after we'd packed up the cars and were getting ready to leave for our respective homes.  My dad thinks it looks like a promo shot for a bad family sitcom.  Personally, I think television needs our smiling faces and positive outlook.  Or perhaps that's just me....

Accounting 101 - Mission Accomplished

I received my grades today!  Turns out I am pretty good at accelerated accounting classes at JCC.  Now I just have to study for the GMAT and then apply to Accounting Programs.  I'm headed in a direction and hopefully it's the right one.