A Crossroads

This weekend, I had one of the Dads' bar friends ask me to submit my resumé to him.  He works for the government, specifically Health and Human Services.  He overheard me talking to his wife about my grad school application process and asked Dad a lot of questions about me at the next gathering.  The job he specifically has in mind: Grant Writing.  I said that I would submit my resumé and thanked him for thinking of me.  It's difficult to really talk about all the thoughts that run through one's head when someone asks for your resumé out of the blue like that.  So it's always best to just say thank you and I will.

Of course, now I am faced with all the crippling thoughts that come with contemplating the future and choices that must be made.  To begin with, I have already started the wheels in motion for an advanced degree in Accounting.  Five years ago, I would have been jumping up and down at the prospect of a job in Grant Writing.  Now I am a little more cautious as I don't know what this means for the plans I have started to lay down, nor do I want to dismiss an excellent opportunity without really considering all the options.  But the bigger question is what do I really want to be doing five years from now?

I know from the class I took this summer that I am actually quite good at accounting and I do get a measure of satisfaction knowing I am not just a "words" person.  Learning accounting would be tied up with the building blocks of business management and that's always useful knowledge.  But then getting in with a government job is difficult and if I am to attain my dream of working at the Library of Congress, whether as Librarian or Accountant, this would be a useful step.  Once in the government I would have the ability to move from job to job without losing years of service.  Unlike the private sector where a new start with a new company means starting over again, unless other terms are negotiated. 

But the opportunity for advancement can be greater in the private sector.  It's like picking investments for one's 401(k); do you go with high risk since you have time before retirement or do you go slow and steady?  One could have greater earning potential if the markets are in your favor, but you could also lose everything and not have enough to retire.  The same is true for the low risk investments, too, but it tends to be more stable.

I must not get ahead of myself.  Submitting a resumé does not mean one will get a job or even a job offer.  I submitted enough of them when I was unemployed to know that better than anyone.  But when the friend of a family member makes a point to ask, the likelihood that one will have to accept or decline something greatly increases.  And, of course, the part that is bothering me is that someone somewhere will have to be disappointed.