G-D's 85th Birthday

Today is my maternal grandmother's 85th birthday.  On one hand I am uber excited about the fact that I have a grandparent that made it to be 85, and probably older at the rate she's going, but on the other I am sad that she is my only remaining grandparent.  This will sound harsh, so bear with me, but I wish that my paternal grandmother had made it to 85 instead.

1-800-Flowers A-Dog-Able Basket.

In my defense, I don't have much of a relationship with my maternal grandmother and it isn't for a lack of trying.  I had wonderful hopes of developing a familial bond with my Florida relatives when my mother moved back to take care of her own mother.  But that was not to be.  My mother doesn't even spend, what I would consider, a reasonable amount of time with her sister.

I mean if my sister and I lived in the same town, there would be Rockband Band every week.  We could meet for lunches as often as possible and there would be dinners with the dads.  I'm just saying, maybe mom and her sister aren't as close as they've always claimed to be.  Did she talk to her sister every day at lunch?  I think not.   Did they write letters with an equivalent frequency as we exchange e-mails? Nope.   Did Aunt C try to visit at least once a year and vice versa?  My mom lived for 30 years in Maryland and her sister didn't visit once.  I see my sister at least once a year, twice if I can afford it, and she comes to visit here at least as often.  So clearly, D and I are way better at this sister thing.  Not that this is some sort of competition or anything, but we still win.

The point is that my mom's family isn't that close so, when I received the text from my mother reminding me it was GD's 85th birthday, the only reason I sent flowers was to please my mother.  I like to make her happy and she likes to see her mom happy.  So if sending flowers to a woman I haven't seen in over three years is going to make mom happy, I can do that.  If it gives and old woman some small amount of pleasure before she shuffles off this mortal coil, then who is it going to hurt except my budget.  Once day she will die and I will be sad for my mother.  But I don't know that  I will feel that overwhelming grief I remember at my paternal grandmother's funeral.

I think often about the inevitable death of my own parents.  I don't like those thoughts when I have them, I would rather believe that they'll live forever and things will never change.  But that is incredibly foolish and highly unrealistic.  Everyone dies at some point.  I wonder if it would be easier if one or the other died first.  How would I handle it, how would I move on with my life, etc.  I think I would be equally as devastated.  Especially if my 85 year old grandmother outlived them.