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Wednesday, February 16, 2011

11 Days to go....

Officially eleven days until my 30th Birthday.    I am very excited for myself and I can't wait to see my mother in exactly a week.  It's been over a year since I saw her last and that is far too long.  But with all the positive things happening in my life, I can't help but feel a little guilty talking to some of my friends.  My sister and my best guy friend are going through some tough relationship times right now and I feel bad singing praises to them.  Even though I know they are happy for me and would love to hear about something good that's happening, I find myself not sharing as much as I normally would.

The worst, for me, is my best guy friend.  He is going through a break-up that doesn't make a lot of sense to him.  All he knows is that he was blissfully happy with his two and three quarter year relationship and then it was like rug being pulled out from under him.  The only reason given for the break-up was that the other person felt they wouldn't work out, even though this person was also in love and seemingly happy with the relationship.  They are trying to maintain friendly contact and I think that may be the hardest part.  Because the other person sounds happier than my friend wishes he/she were and my friend's transition back into his old life hasn't been exactly smooth.  He's been there for me through so much and I simply don't know what to say to comfort him.  I agree with him, based on the information I have been given, that the whole thing doesn't make sense but I don't want to give any kind of false hope or villain-ize the ex in any way.  I have been in a similar emotional place, though not after as long as relationship as his, and I can understand that feeling of hopelessness.  But I can't remember any of the things he said to me, back then, that made me feel better so I don't know what course to take with him.

My sister is a little bit easier.  She and I talk everyday and I have a pretty good idea of where she is mentally and emotionally without a guidebook.  I also know her significant other better than I ever knew my friend's.  I have seen her relationship and know the good, the bad, and the ugly about it.  So I can be as honest with her as I would be with myself in times like these.  It worries me that they are having troubles because I have seen how great they can be together.  But I still don't want to go overboard detailing what wonderful thing my boyfriend did this day or that day.  As much as one likes to hear about the happiness of one's friends, it can sometimes make one feel worse about one's own situation.  And I don't think either my sister or my friend need that right now.

But there are details that I really want to share and they aren't the kind of details you can just tell anybody. 

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