Just returned from a blind-ish date. (Met the guy online and agreed to meet up and see if we were a match.) I don't know if it's me or what, but I don't think this is going past a second date. I think everyone deserves at least two dates. The first date can be nerve wracking and some people can pysch themselves out to a point that they don't give an accurate version of themselves. Second dates are usually a little bit easier and will tell you if your first impressions were correct or not.
My first impressions: the guy was very nice, very open, and we talked about super heroes and childhood cartoon shows. However, I did not want to hold his hand or make out with him. I learned that he still lives with his parents, though it makes sense that he would. (He's just out of law school and building his practice, paying back student loans, etc.) But I get the feeling that he hasn't really been on his own, there's a certain confidence that's lacking, and I don't need a project. Part of me wonders if I should ignore my impulse to keep my distance and see if something could develop as I got to know him more. In terms of dating, I don't know that my instincts have served me well to date and I'm curious to see what would happen if I went against them. But I have also learned that I am far more intuitive about relationships than I realize and if I had listened to my instincts from the start I could have saved myself some trouble. (i.e. my wondering if my ex was still happy dating me back in January was my subconscious picking up on his changed behavior after he met his, now, current girlfriend.)
I think that's the worst part about a break-up like the one I've just had. It skews your perception of everything and makes you doubt yourself in ways that are detrimental to your well-being. Because everything I thought I knew, everything that I was certain of, changed as if overnight. There wasn't a slow decline in the relationship, nothing noticeable or concerning, it was seemingly healthy. The first one I'd had in a long time and I was completely blindsided. Like being knocked under by an incoming wave at the beach, I am struggling to find my footing and get my bearings so I can make it safely to shore. And this new guy, I don't even know if he had a chance to begin with.
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