Memorial Day

After I recovered from my Couch to 5K run on the Trolley Trail, my friend, M, and I decided to continue the day with a visit to Patapsco Valley State Park.  I had never been there, even though I've driven by it a hundred times, and it satisfied my desire to soak up the nice weather.  Despite the heat, it was probably the best decision I made the entire day.

We started out at the playground, just swinging like a couple of kids, and then moved to the trails.  I'm not sure which one we took exactly as it's not featured on the Patapsco River Map, but it started at the Valley Overlook and ended up crossing the CSX Railroad tracks. As we were sitting there, contemplating how often the train actually ran the along those tracks, we felt the rails start to vibrate and a hissing sound rolled down the metal.  We stepped to the side and let the train pass.   I was fascinated by how the weight of the train depressed the Railroad Ties (Wooden Slats) into the Track Ballast (Crushed Stone).  The Ties moved up and down in the Ballast as each car passed over them. Even after the rain has disappeared around the bend the rails were still hissing with the sound.

The Patapsco River was a welcome sight.  There were about 20-30 people wading into the water.  In the middle it was probably only waist deep, but the current was pretty fast and parents were warning their kids to stay close to the banks.  We sat down on some rocks and dipped our feet into the river. It was a nearly perfect day for this and I couldn't believe I hadn't taken advantage of the state park before.  I lived within 5 minutes of it for about 10 years and never knew there was a place to swim and sun bathe so close to home. 

Sitting there, underneath the old Route 40 bridge, it easily could have been any point in time in the last century.  The only reminders of modern day life were the cell phones hidden in shoes and the McDonald's lunch one couple brought with them.

Couch to 5K - Week 1

I started the Couch to 5K program this week.  The first two days were not bad at all as I made use of the treadmills at my gym.  My third day was absolutely the toughest as the gym closed early for Memorial Day and I decided to use the Trolley Trail to Ellicott City.  I invited my friend, M, to join me even though he's the athletic type and I am not.  (He recently injured his hamstring and is trying to get it back in shape without stressing it, so it worked out really well for both of us.)  Mostly I figured that I would need someone to drag my unconscious body back to the car should I pass out from the heat.

We walked up the trail from Ellicott City to Catonsville, so that I was fighting the incline as I was running, and then started the program on the way back.  We did have to turn around and run uphill at the very end and I was very sorry for it.  I have to say that it is more difficult to run outside than on a treadmill for obvious reasons, but I also know that I had more of a workout, too. 

My First Week Notes:
Day1: Treadmill - 30 min.,1.6 miles, 150 calories
Day2: Treadmill - 30 min., 1.77 miles, 158 calories
Day3: Trolley Trail - 30 min, 1.25 miles (95 degree heat)

I am anxious to start the second week and see how I can improve these times, distances, etc.

The Horse You Came In On

Last night, I joined the dads in Fells Point at The Horse You Came In On.  I've passed this place many times and never gave it a second thought.  My friend, J, read a mystery novel about the bar and lent it to me but I haven't gotten around to reading it.  I am sorry I've ignored the place for so long.

It advertises as Baltimore's Original Watering Hole and claims to be America's oldest continually operated saloon.  Also, the only bar in Maryland to exist before, during, and after prohibition. (straight from the Bar's website)  It also claims that this was the last destination of Edgar Allan Poe before he was found wondering the streets of Baltimore prior to his death.  I am not sure if that's true, but it's pretty cool to think about.

The bar itself is centered around the cowboy motif, if you will. Photos of old Hollywood legends and film shots from Tombstone line the walls.  Bar stools are shaped like saddles and Cowboy paraphernalia is tacked up around the bar.  I was delighted that the back of the bar was cool and offered a refreshing change from this early summer heat.  Ghost tours file in and out of the place during the evening and the overall atmosphere is pleasant.

Spring Cleaning

I started a bit of Spring Cleaning today.  We swept off the porch and cleaned off the chairs so we could sit outside on cooler nights.  I don't know why I didn't have the motivation to do it before the weather became sweltering.  I just suddenly had visions of reading Gone With the Wind on the porch with warm breezes bringing the scent of Magnolia.  Granted we don't have Magnolia anything near my house and any breeze would likely bring the smell of the dumpster from the road, but it was a beautiful thought.

Now I just have to cart a bunch of stuff to Goodwill and finish tidying my room and I'll be happy in my surroundings.

Derailing One's Self-Esteem

I have worked very hard during the last year with Weight Watchers and felt like I would try to find some new clothes for the summer.  It was a very disappointing experience as I didn't see a big change in clothing sizes even though everything fit better than it has in years.  I didn't have a problem finding things that fit well and often I had too many choices.  But the number on the back of the tag really bothered me.  Some places I was wearing a size 12 or 14, which wasn't very different from last year's clothes.  It was very discouraging.

But then I found this article.  Which gave me this beautiful graphic from the NYTimes Article.  It was also helpful to read about it on the Weight Watcher's website.  Though, I still don't like my assigned number I don't feel as bad about it.

More Lists for the Rafiki Lady

Education:  at least bachelor's degree (slightly negotiable - depending on life situations and experiences)
Health:  Should be healthy- no bodybuilder fanatic types, no beer bellies.  Takes all necessary medication, has honest conversations with GP about concerns and visit regularly.  Takes health seriously but it doesn't run his life.  Visit dentists regularly, values healthy teeth.  ***Very Important - will bring me soup when I am sick***
Family: Siblings (negotiable - I want my partner to understand my bond with my sister and to have learned the lessons of sharing a life with someone.  But these things don't require a sibling to know.) preferably a sister, but not important so long as he has respect for women.  Parents can be divorced, married, deceased, never married, living in a different state, whatever.  Would prefer if there is a positive family relationship, but these are things that can't be controlled.  My partner should want a family someday, within the next 5-10 years.
Career: no requirement for a specific profession, so long as it can support his lifestyle.  Someone with ambition, willing to work hard for things they want.  Even if the job they have is not what they prefer to do but it lets them do the things they love.  Doesn't take short cuts or expect things to be handed to him.  Would prefer someone with a regular day job so that scheduling is easier, but could be negotiable for the right person/circumstances

All-New NOOK

Well, Barnes and Noble has done it.  They've given me a reason to buy their product over the Kindle.  In my comparison of the NOOK and Kindle in previous entries , both here and in my Super Secret Bean Counter Blog, I liked the NOOK and all it had to offer except for that little itty bitty touch screen at the bottom.  I have said, on previous occasions, that if they offered an e-ink display with full touch screen technology it would make up my mind.

And now, they've introduced the All-New NOOK with the e-ink display and fully integrated touch screen.  For $139.   Those bastards.

I really liked the global 3G wireless offered by Kindle, but I failed to commit to it before my Ireland trip and now there is very little reason for me to get it.  But this NOOK does offer the same wi-fi access as the basic Kindle with the added benefit of reading ePub documents which would allow me to borrow books from a library or import publications from other vendors.  (Though, I hear Amazon is going to offer the Kindle 3G at a discount with special offers and the really appealing part is that the 3G would really make it like the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.)  Plus, I wouldn't contribute as much to the destruction of the bee population with my cell phone like signals from my e-reader.

So many things to consider.  But it will depend on the actual NOOK product.  I intend to check it out in the stores as soon as possible and if I like the design and interface, I might just cave.

There's a First Time for Everything

I have worked at Hallmark for nearly 12 years now.  Of that time, I've been a key holder/night manager for about 9 of them.  In all that time, I've never had to write up a single employee for anything.  Granted there were things that happened that resulted in an employee's termination, but they weren't the kind of things one could prove immediately and write up for their record.

Last night, I caught A.P. using her cell phone at the register.  This is a big deal in the Hallmark world as cell phones really aren't allowed in the building let alone the sales floor.  My manager makes an exception for that cell phone rule, letting people keep them in their purse or locker, in case of emergencies.  But, while on duty, the cell phone is never to leave the back room.  It was only a few weeks ago that I caught A.P. with her cell phone at the register and told her to put it in her locker and never bring it out again. 

Under the Hallmark rules, if I find someone with their cell phone on the floor, I am supposed to send them home immediately and call the store manager to come in and cover the rest of the shift.  Then the employee that was sent home has to come in before their next shift and have a talk with the manager.  Now, I think this is extreme and no one really wants to call the manager in on her night off.  So I give the girls a verbal warning.  I explain what the rules are and what I should do when they break them, but that I think those are extreme measures and hope they realize how lucky they are that it was me that caught them and not the manager who would fire them on the spot.  I make them put their phone directly into their locker and warn them that the next time I see it, I will have to write them up and contact the manager.

Normally, this is the end of it.  If the girls do have their cell phones out on the floor after that, they are sure not to let me find out about it.  Or the instances are far enough apart that I don't remember giving them their first warning and they get another.  But last night, after I had given a verbal warning less than two weeks ago, A.P. blatantly checks her cell phone while she's standing right next to me at the register.  I ask her, "is that your cell phone in your pocket?"  Cause she hadn't exactly pulled it out in the open, but I know the checking messages on the cell phone in my pocket posture.  She reaches into the opposite pocket on her apron and pulls out her chap stick and tells me no, she was just playing with the cap on her chap stick.  I look at her, "Seriously?  Go put your phone in your locker."  Since it was after 8:00pm I did not send her home, but I did write her up. 

The part that bothers me is that, I'm pretty laid back in my managerial style there.  I expect that the basic rules are obeyed and everyone will do their job with at least a minimum effort.  But I am not hyper about it, I don't create a stressful environment and I'm understanding about most things.  I don't like getting people in trouble, but I can't ignore that level of disrespect and I have to do my job.  Twice in less than two weeks, and to be foolish enough to do it right in front of me.  I spend a lot of time on projects and things that will keep me away from the register, so if I know that this behavior has occurred then I know that it's affecting the customer service.

NKOTBSB

Today was a special day.  The sun was shining and the NKOTBSB compilation album was out a day early at Target.  It was like it was my Birthday!  61 days until I go see them in Greensboro, NC.

Doctor Who - The Rebel Flesh

Thankfully, all those predictions about the rapture were all for naught and I was able to catch the new episode of Doctor Who last night.  Though I was extremely disappointed that it was a part one of a two part episode that will not be concluded until June 4th.  Something about Memorial Day Weekend and American Audiences not watching TV.  Given the nature of this episode, having to wait two weeks for the conclusion is just cruel.

My first thoughts:  1)We've had Pirates cursed with a Black Spot and now Avatars who just want the Government to leave them alone - is this a tour of blockbuster films à la Doctor Who? 2) Isn't this how we got the Martha Clone in that Season 4 episode?

There is the question of what makes someone, or something in this case, alive.  We had a little bit of that in the last episode when the TARDIS is looking for a word that is "so big and so sad."  But this is an entirely different level.  These Doppelgangers, or "gangers" for short, are exact copies of their human counterparts.  They have the same exact memories and feel that they are, in fact, that person.  I really liked the scene where the one character was talking about his son and the Ganger described what it felt like the day the boy was born.  It raises complicated questions about how the Gangers will live out their lives if they survive.  We had some discussion of this in "The Sontaran Stratagem/The Poison Sky" episode when the Martha Clone is dying.  She says she remembers all the same things that Martha does and is sad for all the things she won't get to achieve.

Final Thoughts:  If there is a successful clone of the Doctor, will he still be the last of the Timelords?  I mean apart from Jenny and whomever that little girl was at the end of the two part season opener.

A Purse Party

I had a My 31 Purse Party over the weekend.  You know those businesses that women usually run to supplement their household income, like Pampered Chef or Lia Sophia.  You get a group of your friends together to listen to the Consultant talk about their product and then they try to convince you to sell it yourself or at least book a party.  I feel like, most of the time, it's the same groups of women and really they are just trading money around.  Don't get me wrong, I think this is a perfectly viable option for busy women and stay at home moms and I applaud them for their business efforts.  It is, however, not for me. 

But my friend, G, needed a $200 minimum party to remain an active consultant and I owed her a huge favor for helping me clean out my storage unit last August.  Not to mention, I like the purse they offer that has removable covers.  It's called the Skirt Purse and let's me change my look without having to move things from purse to purse.  It's also less expensive than the Vera Bradley we sell at my store. She was able to make her minimum and I was able to get a couple of free things.  So it worked out pretty well.

What I did not realize is that the company is named My Thirty-One after Proverbs 31.  I knew it was a Christian Organization, but didn't realize that it was based around this ideal wife description.  There are entire Bible study groups centered around being this type of woman and I just don't get it.  Maybe I am selfish in that arena or a product of my times, I don't know.  Maybe I will understand it a little more once I have children and there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day.  But it also sounds a lot like the character Ellen O'Hara from Gone With the Wind and I think I am a little bit more like Scarlett right now.

The Day Before...

At the Hallmark dinner the other night, a couple of girls were talking about this impending rapture that is supposed to happen on May 21st.   For the most part they were joking, but a couple of them were really concerned.  Did I think it was possible, etc.  My answer was simply that there is no specific date given in the bible, it is even said that man can't know the day or hour when it will happen, so I wasn't concerned.  That the calculations of this man, based on things in the bible, were clearly flawed (from a religious perspective) because Human beings are fundamentally flawed.  This seemed to make them feel better and put them at ease, I'm not really sure when I became the voice of wisdom or why they accepted it so readily. 

But there is a lot of chatter, from people in my life, about this business and one can't help but think about it.  As I've said before, my mother and her sister believe that the end of times are nigh.  Granted Aunt C. has taken it to an extreme that involves stocking food and supplies, but my mother has always been my religious knowledge source and it disturbs me that she is thinking something similar to this.  Yes, there have been Earthquakes, Famines, and Wars but none any worse than others in our collective history.

Do I think it's possible that at some point in the near future the world, as we know it, will change or come to an "end" giving rise to something new we have not yet begun to imagine, yes.  The thing about life is that things are always changing.  Could something happen to derail the American government and completely change our current way of life?  Anything is possible and we're still a young country.  I'm sure the Ancient Romans never thought their way of life would come to an end and yet it did.  England enjoyed an expansive existence for a period of time and yet the sun did set.  Empires are built and destroyed and yet life remains.  It would be arrogant and foolish to think that things will go on forever just as they are.  But that doesn't mean it will be a bad change either.

My Little Sister's Birthday!

Today, my sister is 27.  It's times like these that I wish we lived in the same city.  At bad times and really good times in my life I miss her equally.  I was so glad she could make it up for my birthday this year, it was the missing piece I couldn't quite figure out in previous years.  And then I wished she lived within a half an hour when everything went to hell a few weeks later.  It's times like these when I think about how nice Atlanta is and that it wouldn't be a bad place to live.  

Then we could ride around in the car and sing pop songs at the top of our lungs; quote movies no one but us has seen in years.  And just feel like everything is as it should be for that short space of time.  It's like this Darren Hayes song about his sister. 

I hope that she has a fantastic night tonight and no one spoils any part of it.

The Hallmark Girls Are Getting Younger

I went out last night to celebrate the birthdays of a couple of the Hallmark Girls.  There was me, 30, and then the next oldest was C, 22.  Three of the girls had just turned 21 and there was the exchanging of ID's and deciding what drinks to get.  It was adorable.  Like puppies playing with fuzzy yellow chicks in a Teddy Bear factory.  It made me think of those days in my own life and the people I shared them with.

C.D. was the Hallmark girl I hung out with the most at that time, though she was still just C.S. at that time.  None of the girls last night remembered, or even worked, with her.  But she took me out when I turned 21, to Uno's, and bought me a Lemon Drop shot for my first drink.  I was nervous and unsure; almost dropped the lemon wedge on the bar.  And then I decided to just drink the last little bit I'd left in the shot glass, without the sugar and lemon.  I shared this story last night, but none of the girls were interested in shots.  Good for them.

I am in the same role that R.F. was for me.  It's just weird for me to think about.  I am the older, wiser Hallmark girl with helpful tale of my own troubles when they need advice.  They can talk to me about things that they would never mention to Teri and yet I am not in the tight knit circle anymore.  I am the inbetween.

Jordan Knight's Birthday!

Be sure to check out Jordan's new album, due out May 31st!

Also starting my countdown to seeing NKOTBSB in North Carolina in July. - 65 days!!!

Lists

I usually make lists: things that need to be done, goals I have for the year, things that need to be packed for a trip, characteristics I don't want in a boyfriend.  Last night, my therapist gave me homework.  She wants me to create a list of characteristics I want in a partner.  I told her it was easier to make a list of things I didn't want and I felt that creating a list of specific things I did want would narrow my search and leave out a lot of worthwhile people.  She said that it would give me focus and help point me in the direction I wanted to go, because if I never knew what I wanted how could I be sure I was heading the right way.  I can see the thought process in that and will do it.  But it is a little more difficult than I thought.

She also wants me to create a list of, what I would consider, the most important romantic relationships in my life and how I was when I was in them.  So maybe it would be easier to create that list and then pull out the characteristics I liked about each of those people, instead of the things I didn't like about those relationships.  This will, of course, tie-in with her let's see what the people you date have in common and what the problem really is.  That is why I am there after all, to make sure that I am not doing something to sabotage myself when it comes to relationships.  And as different as most of these men are, they did have some similarities.  Now I just need to see if those similarities are deeper than I thought.

A small list I came up with last night:

1. Wants a family, someday
2. Has a typical day job
1. restaurant workers and night shift hasn't worked with my schedule
2. regular schedule like mine, with predictable work nights could be okay.
3. transitional jobs, due to economy problems, are also okay.  But if they haven't had a "grown-up" job they won't understand my routine.
3. Has a close family - or at least understands the time I spend with mine
4. Has at least one sibling - preferably a sister
5. open to a relationship
6. sees a relationship as a true partnership
1. not someone who feels they need to teach me something about life, but someone with whom I can continually learn and grow
2. encourages me to be a better version of myself and vice versa without being cruel or domineering
3. will seek out my opinion and seriously consider it even when the decision has nothing to do with me or my life
4. will offer his opinion and help on difficult decisions, but ultimately knows it is my life and my choices and no reflection on him if I do not follow his advice and is okay with that.
7. Has a budget - a plan for his retirement, aka takes steps to provide for his future.
8. Believes that the rules exist for a reason and doesn't see them as a challenge to overcome.  But understands that some laws are stupid, i.e. prohibition of same-sex marriages.
1. no get rich quick schemes, serious gambling problems, drug use, drinking problems
2. respects intellectual properties and doesn't download illegally, plagiarize, and documents sources.
9. can balance work, romance, friends, family
10. 50/50 relationship
1. Makes time for me and wants to be with me, but leaves me time for outside interests and hobbies.
1. it's important to maintain an individual identity
2. allows us to continually bring something new to the relationship
2. Integrate into my life without taking it over
1. will hang out with my friends and family
2. includes me in activities with his friends and family
3. able to maintain outside relationships
3. half the time at my place, half at his
4. Share financial responsibilities
1. doesn't expect me to maintain a higher lifestyle because he can afford to

Okay maybe it's not as small as I thought, but I started thinking about things as I went along.

The Doctor's Wife (Episode #4)

I was finally able to catch up on the latest episode of Doctor Who and all I can say is, "wow!"

***Please do not read past this point if you want to avoid Spoilers***
To start, a couple of recaps and reviews from the web:

the Two Cents Corp - Doctor's Wife Review
Filmthrasher - Doctor's Wife Review
Mark Watches - Doctor's Wife Review

I will refrain from giving a recap, as you can click on a link above if that is needed, but I have to talk about how much I loved this episode.  Idris, or rather the TARDIS, was amazing!  I don't know what made Neil Gaiman think of that particular twist, but it was brilliant.  Using a character, the TARDIS, with whom we are already so familiar but take for granted was just a breath of fresh air for me.  Honestly, the speech at the end was as emotionally charged for me as the ending of season 2 when the Doctor has to say good bye to Rose.

I'll admit the title was a bit misleading, but I think that was the intention.  Kind of like the Doctor's Daughter in Season 4, she's not really his wife.  But I really wish Idris had made it past this episode.  I would love to see more of her and her interaction with the Doctor.  I should have expected something like this from Gaiman, though.  He is always taking things we take for granted and making them magical or more than they seem.

Second Dates

I have come to the conclusion, this weekend, that I really hate dating.  Specifically I am referring to that thing we all do when we are absolutely single and trying to find one person with whom to spend quality time, not the dating that happens when one has found someone worth their time but before it's an agreed upon relationship.  In the past month I have had "dates" with three different guys, though one of them doesn't really count cause it was agreed it a no strings meeting.  It is my policy that everyone gets a second date, unless the first date is just awful, because everyone can be nervous on a first date and not give a great first impression.  I also think it's kind of like wine or beer tasting, the first sip clears the pallet and the second one really tells you about the person.  That being said, I should also learn that my first impressions and reactions are usually pretty accurate.

I had a second date today that I already knew wasn't going to change my mind, but the guy was so nice that I sincerely hoped I was wrong.  I wasn't.  And I completely chickened out of having that conversation at the end of the date where I explain that I'm just not interested in anything other than friendship.  Part of me wanted to talk about it with my therapist on Monday before making any declarations.  I think it's because of how things ended with my ex and I doubt my instincts right now.  I mean clearly whatever method I've been using to pick a guy isn't working.  But now I realize that I will have to meet this person for a third time to actually have a conversation where I say I'm just not attracted to him, because it's really better to do those things in person isn't it?  And it just makes me feel like an asshole.

This guy is genuinely nice and it's pretty obvious that he likes me, but I don't want to make out with him.  I didn't want him to hold my hand, either, and my thought about the second date when I agreed to it was "let's get this over."  And given that I had these same reactions when I met my roommate and living with him for a year hasn't changed anything, I think I can safely say that my thinking is accurate on this one, too.  But I know how it feels to meet someone with whom you feel a connection and they don't.  I keep saying I wish I could meet a nice guy and here I have, but I don't want him.  So I feel bad about it even though I can't help what I don't feel.  I think the important thing is that I don't let it go on longer than necessary and allow him to move on and find that right person for him.

MTV = "My Time is Valuable"

There are few things in this world that irritate me more than the lack of courtesy between human beings.  Today I am specifically referring to a wasting of someone else's time because one can't be bothered to send a quick text message to declare that plans are cancelled.  Basically, blowing someone off.  In a no strings agreement between adults, there are only two rules; show up when you say you will and don't get attached.  (Of course, there are other rules that can be agreed upon but I feel these are pretty universal.) 

I kind of feel like my "slutty phase" is prematurely over, now.  Because, really, I wasn't going to sleep with multiple partners over the summer.  I had an agreement with one individual that seemed to satisfy both our needs and that was fine with me.  But last night, after an agreed upon meeting was ignored, I have no desire to waste my time further with this individual.  If he'd had a legitimate date opportunity, I would have completely understood and probably encouraged it.  If there had been some sort of family or medical emergency, again, I would not have a problem.  But when I see that someone is active online and actively ignoring plans, I don't have any patience.  Perhaps I can work out an agreement with someone else before the summer is over, but I feel like I'd have to be in the right place and mood for that since it's something that doesn't come naturally to me.

The evening was not a complete loss, however, as I was able to clean my room (I've been putting it off for months now) and catch up on the blogs I missed while on Vacation.  Of course, had I known my plans would be changed, I would have had something more interesting lined up or at least gotten back to the gym.  But these were things that needed to be done and I'd been avoiding doing them.  Like my room/house, for example.  Since my break-up I haven't actively done anything to keep it tidy and it's fallen into quite a loathsome state.  I just didn't have the will or desire to do anything, but then I couldn't stand the sight of it so I would make plans that kept me away from the place until bed time.  And I think we all know that that isn't healthy.  So things are tidy once more and just need a thorough clean and dusting on my next day off and I'll be able to breath easier and feel comfortable once more.

Dymaxion Map

On a Wikipedia Binge today I discovered this:

It really caught my attention because the continents as I know them are almost unrecognizable, at first glance, in this arrangement.  I am so used to seeing them on a flat map in a classroom or office.  But this really gave me a different perspective on the placement of the land masses and how human beings may have migrated across them.  It also gives an accurate portrayal of the continents and their size in relation to one another.

A Pirate Episode for Doctor Who

I can't even begin to tell you how disappointed I was with this episode.

Mark Watches - Curse of the Black Spot Review

I understand that after the drama of the season opener we needed something to cleanse our television pallet.  And this episode does succeed in doing just that.  But I didn't leave feeling terribly impressed with it and I wonder how many times they can kill Rory before I hate them.  It's like on Buffy, they would constantly put Willow in dangerous situations in the first few seasons and if she cried it was like fan gold.  Putting Rory in danger does manipulate the emotions of the audience, but I am starting to get tired of it.

Baby Steps

I have officially taken the first step towards the possibility of grad/business school.  I left work about a half an hour early yesterday to meet with an advisor at CCBC so I could register for the Accounting Class they are offering in the second half of the Summer Semester.  It wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be, though putting the entire class on my credit card smarts a bit.  I was able to get advised in 10 minutes, then I went over to the registration desk for final approval.  I even had time to pay for the class before I left to hang out with my friend.  All total, it took me about 40 minutes.

So, I am signed up for an accounting class.  Provided I get an A, my company will reimburse 100% of the costs.  This would be lovely as it makes me cringe to see it on my credit card right now.  If I like the class and do well in it, then I will take Accounting II in the fall.  If I don't, then I will sign up for Technical Writing.  In the meantime, I will study for either the GMAT or the GRE (depending on how this class goes) and take one of those before the holidays this year.  Then I can seriously apply to grad/business schools for Fall 2012.  It's kind of scary, actually.  It's a plan and it's been set in motion.

In other news, this made me smile today:

http://consumerist.com/2011/05/not-even-a-trenta-can-hold-this-many-starbucks.html

AIDS/HIV Vaccine

Coming into work this morning I heard a most uplifting broadcast.  It wasn't the host or the demeanor of the guest, but the subject matter that lifted my spirits.  It was Maryland Morning with Shelia Kast on my local NPR station and she was interviewing Dr. Robert Gallo from the Institute of Human Virology (IHV is part of the University of Maryland School of Medicine).  According to the interview, $23.4 million dollars has been awarded to the Institute in a research grant.

I wasn't consciously aware that there was this type of research was happening, but it makes sense that there would be a search for a vaccine.  I was very excited because I understood a lot of what Dr. Gallo was talking about in his interview.  For example:  Gallo talked about the problems with creating a vaccine for HIV/AIDS; it's not safe to use a live stain of the virus like one would use in MMR shots, and a dead strain of the virus like Salk used for the Polio Vaccine doesn't carry the needed protein to prevent HIV/AIDS.  I knew about Jonas Salk and the Polio Vaccine mostly because I'd read The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot a few months ago.

If these clinical trials and further research prove successful, it is possible we'll have an AIDS/HIV vaccine in the not so distant future.  When I read Skloot's book and learned of the importance of the Polio Vaccine that we now take for granted, I couldn't imagine how the general populace must have felt when the discovery was announced.  If the IHV is successful in their efforts, I won't have to imagine it at all.  I keep thinking about my dad's friend, that I met on my Ireland Trip, and her stories about her time in Africa; the devastation of AIDS/HIV and Malaria in Africa is unbelievable.  And this radio broadcast made me think of those people and what this will mean for the world.  It was a ray of hope and positivity in my day.

Great Aunt Louisa

Great Aunt Louisa with Aunt Shelley
circa 1960's

Today would have been my Great Aunt Louisa's 81st birthday.  I find myself thinking of her today especially for that reason.  There are a lot of things we don't think to ask people when they are with us and, like with my mommom, I have a lot of them.

It's Mother's Day and I find myself wondering if Aunt Weeze, as we affectionately called her, ever wanted children of her own.  She was always like a second grandmother to us and I know my dad always felt she was like a second mother.  Always a part of our lives, living with her sister, our Mommom.  She would drive us home after our parents got home from work and was always ready with a trash bag on gift giving occasions.

After my mommom died, Aunt Weeze went to live with my Aunt Shelley.  That was pretty short-lived as they didn't get along at all and she ended up living in her own apartment.  Her death was very sad and could have been prevented, I felt.  I have all sorts of negative feelings about the hospital where she died and not just because of this situation.  I remember going to the hospital and talking to her, though she was unconscious, and just willing her to wake up.  (She did for a short period of time, but not while I was there.)  It was such a helpless feeling.

Immediate Life Goals

Today is the last day my friend, LV, will be working with me at Hallmark.  She got a better paying, more demanding, job and decided she needed to quit the part-time job.  Part of me is happy for her, part of me is jealous, and part of me will miss seeing her regularly without having to put in the extra effort.  After the Pampered Chef party at her house last night, I feel better about keeping in touch.  But I am definitely jealous that she has been able to quit the part-time and I think I'll need a few more months before I can comfortably put in my resignation.  It's my dream and she has achieved it.

I go Monday for advising, so I can register for the accounting class for work.  T was not pleased when I told her I'd need Tuesdays and Thursdays off for about 8 weeks, but what can you do?

A Pampered Chef is a Happy Chef

Tonight, I went to my friend's Pampered Chef party. (Really it was her mom's but she invited friends as well.)  I figured I would buy something small and be done with it, but I was captivated by this microwavable dish.  The woman actually cooked an entire meal in about 20 minutes.  The chicken was nice and tender, the pasta was delicious and I fell for it; hook, line, and sinker. 

I do have to say that I think there is a certain culture that goes with these types of parties.  And I really don't think it's my thing.  I can see there are certain "cult" elements to it.  How do I explain that so it doesn't sound as offensive as it does right now? Meaning that everyone is amazed by this or that gadget and the goal of the Consultant is to sell as much as possible, book as many parties as possible, and get someone to start selling the same product so they can be promoted within the organization.  It's kind of like a pyramid scheme, you know?

Yes, I did find something that will hopefully make my life a little bit easier and I paid a little too much for it.  But I don't really want to have a party for Pampered Chef, nor did I really care about the presentation in general.  I paid attention because it's polite, but I couldn't feign interest to save my life.  Maybe it's my age, maybe it's my independent nature, who knows....

Cinco de Mayo

Just returned from a blind-ish date.  (Met the guy online and agreed to meet up and see if we were a match.)  I don't know if it's me or what, but I don't think this is going past a second date.  I think everyone deserves at least two dates.  The first date can be nerve wracking and some people can pysch themselves out to a point that they don't give an accurate version of themselves.  Second dates are usually a little bit easier and will tell you if your first impressions were correct or not.

My first impressions:  the guy was very nice, very open, and we talked about super heroes and childhood cartoon shows.  However, I did not want to hold his hand or make out with him.  I learned that he still lives with his parents, though it makes sense that he would.  (He's just out of law school and building his practice, paying back student loans, etc.)  But I get the feeling that he hasn't really been on his own, there's a certain confidence that's lacking, and I don't need a project.  Part of me wonders if I should ignore my impulse to keep my distance and see if something could develop as I got to know him more.  In terms of dating, I don't know that my instincts have served me well to date and I'm curious to see what would happen if I went against them.  But I have also learned that I am far more intuitive about relationships than I realize and if I had listened to my instincts from the start I could have saved myself some trouble.  (i.e. my wondering if my ex was still happy dating me back in January was my subconscious picking up on his changed behavior after he met his, now, current girlfriend.) 

I think that's the worst part about a break-up like the one I've just had.  It skews your perception of everything and makes you doubt yourself in ways that are detrimental to your well-being.  Because everything I thought I knew, everything that I was certain of, changed as if overnight.  There wasn't a slow decline in the relationship, nothing noticeable or concerning, it was seemingly healthy.  The first one I'd had in a long time and I was completely blindsided.  Like being knocked under by an incoming wave at the beach, I am struggling to find my footing and get my bearings so I can make it safely to shore.  And this new guy, I don't even know if he had a chance to begin with.

The Silence and The Gentlemen

I have been very excited for the new series, aka season, of Doctor Who to start and I missed the first two episodes due to my trip to Ireland.  Of course, I was able to watch the episodes on TV there as well, but there was so much to do that one hates to rush back for something that can be seen back home.  I have officially caught up with the series and can't wait for the next episode on Saturday.  I do have to say that I am very glad I didn't have to wait an entire week to watch the second part of the season opener.  "The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon" are probably two of the best episodes we've seen from Steven Moffat and quite ballsy, too, I might add.  I won't spoil anything for those that haven't seen it and plan to at some point, but I do have to discuss the villain.  So if you don't want to have anything spoiled, please cease reading now.

Okay, now that I have your attention, I have to say that there was something very familiar about these creatures.  And no, it's not because I've seen them before and have forgotten them while I was looking away.  These villains are quite unsettling as one forgets all about them as soon as they are out of sight.  We are treated with scenes where River Song panics at the sight of a dozen of them hiding in a sewer only to return to her friends and announce that there wasn't anything there and she's going back to further investigate.  The most horrifying to the viewer is the scene where Amy Pond comes across one in the ladies room.  While she's stuck staring at the creature an innocent women comes out of a stall and shrieks at the sight of it.  The innocent then promptly forgets it's even standing there when she turns her head to respond to Amy's warning to back away from the creature and then repeats the same initial reaction three times before it kills her.  How does one defend themselves from a villain one can't even remember?

But back to my point about these villains being eerily familiar somehow.  Do you remember, haha, the Gentlemen from Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Season 4 episode, "Hush?"  I thought you might.  One of the creepiest villains in the Buffyverse and one of the scariest episodes because of the silence.  Visually, they are slightly different but have a lot in common; notice the suits and pale flesh.  There is, of course, a lack of creepy smile on the Doctor Who villain as they don't really have a mouth.  The Silence don't float, they seem to just appear in the corner of your eye.   The Gentlemen don't talk at all.  Both, however, play on our basic human fears.

The Gentlemen take away your voice and then kill you when you can't scream for help.  The vulnerability in that is what shakes the audience down to its core.  The Silence can influence you to do whatever they want and you won't even remember why you are doing it.  It's a sort of mind control through subconscious suggestion and they've apparently been on earth for a number of years; shaping and changing the destiny of the human race for who knows how long.   The Doctor clearly says that human beings decided to go to the moon because the Silence, "needed a space suit."  We just haven't learned the why yet.  As a writer, it's a brilliant plot device as it's possible we've seen them in previous adventures but can't remember them.

I will have to visit this again once the new season is over and I know how the Silence end.  Then I can fully compare them to the Gentlemen and see what is what. 

**Side Note: I also have drafts of entries for the days I was on vacation that I need to finish up and post.  Otherwise, I will have a huge gap in my year and my Buffy entries.**

Back to the Routine

Tonight is my first night back at Hallmark after vacation.  Part of me wishes I had more time before I had to get back into the full swing of my regularly scheduled programming.  But it's end of month at work and mother's day this weekend.

A New Decade?

Last night, my sister called me around 10:00pm.  She said that the President was going to make an announcement and the press was pretty sure it was the death of Osama Bin Laden.  I was already in bed at the time and didn't feel like going out to the living room to watch something I would undoubtedly see on TV for the next three weeks.  I know it probably sounds unpatriotic, but I honestly didn't think it was that big a deal to drag myself out of bed after I'd been fighting sleep for several hours.  If I remember correctly, she said she thought it would be an historic moment (and for those that remember 9/11 it is) and I said that I didn't think it was something to celebrate as, undoubtedly, someone else would rise up to fill his shoes.

Thinking about it today, I have to maintain that feeling.  It's kind of like fighting the Hydra; cut off one of its heads and three grow back in its place.  We're not dealing with a typical army/enemy country, we're dealing with religious fervor and that is much harder to quell.  There will be some kind of threat to the US to retaliate for this death.

People are celebrating this death the way the British People celebrated the wedding of their Prince.  It sickens me a little.  Part of me is glad that we can close this chapter in our history and hopefully move on from it stronger than we were before.  I remember what it was like on September 11th and I can imagine that this is a huge relief to the survivors and the families of those killed during the attacks.  But I can't get over the fact that, as a country, we're celebrating a death.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer: S1E12

Once again, I have to give major credit to Xander.  Yes, Angel cares about Buffy and doesn't want her to get hurt.  Yes, Angel works with Giles to find a way around the prophecy.  But who actually goes out to help Buffy?  Xander.  He even recruits Angel to come with him, which would imply that Angel was sitting on his hands about the whole thing.  When they find Buffy, face down in a puddle of water, who is it that can actually save Buffy?  Xander!  So really, how helpful is Angel?

In real life, Buffy should choose Xander and they could have adorable babies together.  But this is a television show, and a sci-fi one at that, so they are not meant to be.  Their lives are not going to be normal, happy ones and this is why we tune in week after week.  Though having the girl choose the bad boy over the obviously decent guy is pretty real to life.  Plus, having a Buffy/Xander-ship would ruin the entire dynamic in the Scooby Gang and we would have an awesome character like Anya later on.