Surviving the Hurricane...

I have to say that I was quite disappointed in Hurricane Irene.  I was all ready to be hunkered down in my house with bowls of popcorn and loads of old movies.  But after an hour or so of cleaning my house, something that I've been avoiding for weeks now, I realized how incredibly bored I was and went out for lunch.

It was mostly light rain and wind until about some time after I went to bed.  I was seriously hoping for lightning or something that would make me glad I stayed home most of the day.

The negative aspect of this hurricane was that our vacation place in NC seems to be cut-off from the mainland.  (Every year, the dads rent a place on the Outer Banks for the week after Labor Day.)  I've already had a major vacation this year so I really shouldn't complain.  But I was so looking forward to some relaxing beach time.  It's all up in the air right now, but hopefully it all works out.

Doctor Who: Let's Kill Hitler

Doctor Who returned last night after a mid-season break.  I was concerned about how this returning episode would pick up after the events in "A Good Man Goes to War."

With a title like, "Let's Kill Hitler," I was intrigued but also concerned that we would have a one-off episode before getting back to the River Song/Pond Family story arc.  Thankfully, the title was a red herring and Hitler was locked in a broom cupboard for almost the entirety of the episode.

First, let's talk about the Teselecta.  Clearly Mels is not the only human being to consider using time travel to go back and "Kill Hitler."  The tiny humans, I'm guessing they're humans anyway, inside the Teselecta are already on their way to do the very same deed.  Honestly though, who hasn't thought of using time travel to go back and prevent some of the horrible things we learn about in history. The Justice Department humans, in the Teselecta, assume the form of a Wehrmact officer, in what has to be one of the coolest effects I've seen used for a robot that can change its shape at will, and head off to Hitler's office.  

What interests me about the Justice Department though is that they make a point of finding the "criminal" at the end of his or her timeline.  They aren't going back in time to stop what that individual may or may not have done.  I don't know if it has something to do with changing "fixed points" in history or what.  But I thought it was odd that they have the ability to go back in time and covertly kill an important historical figure yet we don't really talk about preventing the crimes in the first place.  Of course, I suppose it then goes into the ideas presented in "The Minority Report" where they question punishing someone for a crime they could potentially commit.

This brings me back to the Doctor and River.  The Justice Department decides to abandon their Hitler mission, they were too early, and go after Melody Pond instead.  Apparently she was a much bigger fish.  They go after her because ***spoiler alert***she kills the Doctor, as seen in the season opener.  Which makes me wonder, why did River stop Amy and Rory (in the opener) if she knew perfectly well what was going to happen?  Then she encouraged Amy and Rory to hide the news of his death from their current doctor when he showed up.  What does it mean?

I also found it quite disturbing that Mels ***spoiler alert*** is pre-regeneration River Song.  Well not the part where she is going to be River Song, but the part where she was a childhood friend of her parents.  Wikipedia tells me that this is an ontological paradox.  Meaning that by Mels being friends with her parents, she encourages their relationship (thus ensuring that she is born) and then provides a namesake for herself.  Kind of disturbing is thinking about when Melody received her combat/seduction training if she "grows up" with her parents.  Was she already an adult in a child's body?  Where was she living while they were all "growing up?"  Was she living with her Silence Captors and getting mixed messages about the Doctor?  Also disturbing is the way the Doctor dismisses finding baby Melody; telling them that they have too much fore-knowledge.  a) I know that Amy is not going to give up trying to find her baby and b)is the doctor that foolish to think that she would.
What I do love is the way that Alex Kingston plays this newly regenerated Melody Pond/River Song.  Like the Doctors before her, she is amazed by the outcome, checks out her new teeth, etc.  What I thought was funny at the time, but realize is kind of biased now, is that Mels tell them to shush because she's "concentrating on a dress size."  The Doctor is never concerned about his waist size, why is she?  Is this an indication of her age? Or because she's female and therefore more superficial?  To be fair, I would probably do the same thing if I could regenerate into someone new.  But if all you have to do is concentrate during the regeneration process, why is the Doctor never ginger as he always laments not being?  Or is it not a gurantee just a preference?

I felt like some things were thrown in to justify previous things in the series.  i.e. Melody saying that she would slowly try and age younger to throw people off - is this to explain why the actress is getting older even though her first appearce was the character's last timeline-wise.  Or having Melody ***spoiler alert*** give her remaining regenerations to save the Doctor.  I felt like this was to explain why we saw the character die in her first appearance.  But that was explained in the same episode when she knocked the Doctor unconscious and took his place, so why bring it up now?

I have so many questions and I sincerely hope we get them wrapped up before the series ends.  I love the Ponds and River, but I am ready to move on from this arc.














http://fuckyeahgallifrey.tumblr.com/post/9601264737/martinusmiraculorum-show-me-river-song

Earthquake!

I have lived 30 years in Maryland and never has the thought of a possible Earthquake entered my mind.  Now this is the second one I've experienced in the space of a year.  (Last year's I had just started dating my now ex and it woke me up at 5:00am.  I wasn't sure what it was and woke him up, he calmed me down and told me it was probably a dream.  I sort of wonder now if I should have taken this as some sort of sign.)

This year's I was sitting at my desk and the lights started flickering.  My boss came out of her office and yelled at us to get under our desks - she lived on the West Coast for several years.  The nearest thing I can compare it to would be a large truck driving by your house.  Or like when you were little and some asshole kid would grab whatever you were standing on and yell "earthquake!" while shaking it.  Except, this isn't some asshole kid and you can't step off the ladder, or chair, and find stable ground.  It's the whole building and all the ground outside. 

FACTS:
5.9 Earthquake
1:51pm est
Center - Virginia

I called my mother to let her know that I was perfectly fine, just a little shaken.  And she started talking about the end of times and how we'll know because of earthquakes and rumors of wars, etc.  a) there are always rumors of wars.  b) I found this handy article that was written after last year's earthquake that confirms east coast quakes are not as infrequent as we would like to believe.  Honestly, this could always be the end of the world as we know it.  Ten years ago, after the 9/11 attacks, the world as we knew it changed but it wasn't the end of the world.

This is like the Texas Sharp Shooter Fallacy I read about the other day.  Where there are completely unrelated events that are being used to support a single idea.

Riding Airplanes

I have to put this question out there:  Does anyone else take stock of the other passengers on an airplane before boarding?

What I mean is that I tend to look around and gauge how many children will be on my flight, how many elderly people, and how many religious fanatics.  No, it's not what you're thinking.

Unlike most people, if there are a lot of small children and infants on a plane, I feel more confident about my flight.  I'm not concerned about crying children preventing me from sleeping, I am just glad that nothing out of the ordinary will happen.  This is going to sound incredibly morbid, I think, but if there is an unusually large number of elderly people on a plane I tend to get a little nervous.  If a plane full of children crashes and everyone dies, it will be a bigger tragedy than a plane full of octogenarians.  My thinking is that at least they will have lived their lives.  I fall somewhere in the middle; I've had a good life and there is more I could achieve but I've still had a good run.  Children haven't truly had the opportunity to live so my irrational thinking is that the universe won't pluck them out of the air. 

Same thing goes for the overly religious.  If I'm on a plane with people returning from a mission trip, I get nervous.  With so many people, whose souls are "right" with God, it's fruit ripe for the picking.  Of course, in this scenario it's more to do with the state of one's soul and less to do with fate/karma/Murphy's law and therefore children would also bring about my death via plane crash.  Unless you would also think that God would not take a large number of children so soon.  But let's not dwell on that fallacy in my thinking.

For the most part, I am perfectly comfortable with flying.  (Though, I always call my family before I leave on a trip and before I get on the return flight home just in case.)  In my mind, though, no matter how safe something is there is always a chance that something will go wrong.  To be fair, I think less about this when I get in my car than I do an airplane and I am definitely more likely to be killed in a car accident than a plane crash.  The thing that gets me though is that should something go wrong on an airplane you are pretty much screwed.  Maybe you survive the landing/crash but do you really want to go through that?  A car crash, the possibility of help reaching me in time is far more likely.   Recovery would certainly suck just as much, but emergency medical attention is more readily available for car crashes.

To be honest, flying in an airplane is the closest I come to faith these days.  First, I have faith that the pilots are well trained, alert, not overworked, or having a bad day.  Second, I have faith that the airplane has been properly maintained, fueled, packed, and latched. (My return flight home, for the record, had no small children, 1 mission trip group, and something that leaked on me the entire flight.)  Third,  I have faith that the science behind flight is sound even though I don't understand it.  Fourth, I have faith that there is a reason I need to continue living past this point in time.  Some sort of purpose that has yet to be fulfilled. 

I'm not afraid of flying.  But I do have a fear of death and an overactive imagination.

First Sunburn of the year

Last day in Atlanta and we went over to my friend, K's place to soak up some sun by her community pool.  These are the things I have learned from that event:

1) SPF 30 is the only acceptable Sunblock level to use on my face. - I have a reverse Raccoon effect going on from wearing my sunglasses the entire time.
2) Adult swim exists for a reason.
3) SPF 30 should be used when first exposing areas of skin that have been covered by a one piece bathing suit for years.

Now I'm just hoping my nose and chest don't start peeling. 

One Week

In exactly one week, I will turn in my last test for Principles of Accounting I and my summer semester class will be over.  I have to say that I will be glad to get what little free time I have back.  But the question is: now what?

I started this class as a way to fulfill my training requirement for my yearly review as well as a way to discover if Accounting was something I would like to pursue professionally.  I could certainly keep working like I have been and just take what is given to me.  But, inspired by my sister, I realize that I should be more proactive in this part of my life and make things better for myself. 

So I am looking at the grad programs at Towson University and University of Baltimore.  The plan, right now, is to focus on taking the GMAT this winter.  Then, I can start applying to schools when I get the results back.  I can take a couple more classes at JCC after I get the GMAT out of the way and that should help with the undergrad GPA problem.  Ideally starting graduate level classes in the fall of 2012. 

I still have to look at the big picture, though.  Like how many classes should I take a semester, how many years will it take me to complete, how much will my company pay for, etc.

Snapshots

Several people on my Facebook friends list have posted their professional pictures from weddings, births, parties, etc.  And it occurred to me, as I grew increasingly jealous of their projected happiness, that we, as a culture, don't take photos of the sad times in our lives.  We take photos on vacation, at birthday parties, social gatherings, and life's milestones.  But I don't know that I've ever seen someone take a photo at a Funeral. 

My dad tells me that his father's family would line up in front of their deceased relative's coffin and take a kind of final family photo.  I have been told that this was a common practice in the 30's and 40's, but I haven't really heard of this as a current one.  When my paternal grandmother died all photos were taken after the funeral, at the luncheon that followed.  But my point is that we don't hire professional photographers to document these moments in our lives.

Realistically, not many people want to remember those times in our lives.  We would rather look back at the photos that make us beautiful and bring warm and fuzzy memories.  We only want to share those moments that will make others pay attention.  Which brings me to this article I read about Facebook and how it makes us all a little more depressed.  The Anti-Social Network, by Libby Copeland, really speaks to me at the moment.  The idea is that, in a study performed at Standford, Facebook only projects the best part of our lives for others to see and this, in turn, makes us feel more isolated in our less than perfect realities. 

It's kind of like the sitcom versions of our own lives; we get the funny, ridiculous, and Kodak moments.  I have often lamented that life cannot be like a movie (or television show or book) and we can't montage through the boring and difficult parts.  By viewing people's activities on Facebook we don't have to experience these in between parts that others certainly go through and it can make it seem like they don't exist for these friends and relatives.  It can make life seem easier than it is.

I personally enjoy the posts my friend, G, puts up about her children.  She's always honest about when they do something amazing and when they are driving her crazy.  Even though I am not there every day, I know that parenting is quite the struggle.  Whereas, former classmate, C, seems to have no end of joyous moments with her children and the five or six others she has in her daycare.  Do they ever fall down? Cry? Repeatedly ask for something they can't have?  Throw a temper tantrum?  I sincerely doubt that C has this perfect existence but I don't have any evidence to the contrary and I would believe that she and her adorable husband have a marriage akin to the Cleavers'.

I talk to my sister every day and I know the struggles that she is currently going through.  But if I were to judge her life based solely on the content she puts up on Facebook, I would think that she was perfectly happy and only a little stressed from time to time.  It's not her fault, she doesn't intentionally put only the good content up because she's afraid of what other's would think.  It's just that there are certain things you just don't share with an online community.  Facebook creates this false intimacy with people.  We imagine that we know everything happening in their lives even though we haven't called them to ask how they are or even seen them since high school.

I do know that the difficult times I've had recently seemed that much worse when I would see how happy other people were on Facebook.  It increased that feeling that perhaps something was wrong with me, some important life lesson I never learned, or a turn right when I should have turned left.  I've come out of that a little bit and I'm trying to focus more on the reality of life around me.  I think that Facebook creates a false plumb line for our lives.  We think about what content we'll post, how many people will like it, and how many hits we'll get on x, y, or z post.  We censor ourselves and project a modified version in an attempt to court the favor of people who are doing exactly the same thing. 

So, lately I've been trying not to over think situations and create imagined problems and concerns for myself.  I'm trying to stop asking if this is what other people would do or if this would be acceptable by someone else's standards.  Because I know my own mind better than anyone else.  I guess the point is that I'm trying to enjoy my life as it is and not as a snapshot for someone else's approval.

30 years ago

1981

• Guess Jeans is founded
• Bertucci's First Brick Oven Pizzeria is opened
• Sandwich World is renamed Quizno's after a merger
• White Marsh Mall opens its doors to customers
• Wild Country reopened as Wild World under new ownership - currently Six Flag's America

June 12, 2981

• Clash of the Titans is released in theatres
• Raider of the Lost Ark is released in theatres

August 1, 1981 - MTV debuts
October 15, 1981 - Evil Dead is released in theatres

Atlanta-ta

I am heading to Atlanta this weekend and I couldn't be more excited.  It's actually a little unbelievable that I will be traveling at the end of the week.  I don't know if it's because I just saw my sister two weeks ago, or if I have just not had time to think about things.  It will be a much needed rest, I hope.

I haven't been to stay with her since she moved in with her girlfriend so it will be a new experience for me.

On the agenda so far:

• Friday: arrive around 10:00am, go back to my sister's and do homework/reading while she works from home.  There will be some playing with a small fluffy white dog as well.
• Saturday: Six Flag's Over Georgia.  The last time I was here I was about 6 or 7 so this should be interesting.  It's also been ages since my sister and I have been to an amusement park together.
• Sunday: No definite plan.  Something in the sun, though, if the weather is nice.  Then Leave at 9:00pm

I am getting excited about it.  Though I still have about 3 more days of work to slough through.

Ramen

When most Americans think of Ramen this is what they typically think of:

A small brick of dried noodles that one can cook in the microwave or on the stove.  There is usually a small flavor packet included with the noodles to give the broth some substance.  But it's a high sodium, cheap meal for college students and struggling artists. (Please see the scene in Josie and the Pussycats when Mel talks about how far a pack of ramen can go.)

But recently, I've seen Brittany Murphy's film, The Ramen Girl, and learned that Ramen is an important part of the Japanese culture.  And the Ramen featured in the film looks nothing like the styrofoam noodles pictured above.  One of the movie's focuses is on the art of making the perfect bowl of Ramen and how it can make some one's day better or worse depending on the mood of the chef when the food is cooked.  We've seen similar films where one's emotions go into the food that others consume, and usually to hilarious conclusions, but this one is different.  The other is finding what makes one happy.  (Brittany Murphy is a girl who hasn't been able to define herself except in relation to other people.  She is someone's daughter, girlfriend, lover, etc.)

Today, I had my very first experience with real Ramen.  I mentioned it at the latest meetup of the Order and was treated to it the following day.  I honestly wish I had been able to eat more it was so delicious.  (Side note:  trying to eat noodles with chopsticks while hungover is not an easy task.  Never mind how I know this.)  This, my friends, is what Ramen is supposed to look like.  The noodles are still in there, I promise, but they were fresh noodles and the difference was definitely noted.

Barbie & Ken Wedding Photo Shoot

photographer Béatrice de Guigné

I ran across this adorable post today:  Barbie & Ken Finally Get Married

It puts the Barbie & Ken Doll in all those familiar wedding photo poses we've seen in recent years.  Being a hugh fan of le Barbie and her entourage I, of course, love the idea behind these shots.  

Photographed by Béatrice de Guigné.  Please go and check out her website.

G-D's 85th Birthday

Today is my maternal grandmother's 85th birthday.  On one hand I am uber excited about the fact that I have a grandparent that made it to be 85, and probably older at the rate she's going, but on the other I am sad that she is my only remaining grandparent.  This will sound harsh, so bear with me, but I wish that my paternal grandmother had made it to 85 instead.

1-800-Flowers A-Dog-Able Basket.

In my defense, I don't have much of a relationship with my maternal grandmother and it isn't for a lack of trying.  I had wonderful hopes of developing a familial bond with my Florida relatives when my mother moved back to take care of her own mother.  But that was not to be.  My mother doesn't even spend, what I would consider, a reasonable amount of time with her sister.

I mean if my sister and I lived in the same town, there would be Rockband Band every week.  We could meet for lunches as often as possible and there would be dinners with the dads.  I'm just saying, maybe mom and her sister aren't as close as they've always claimed to be.  Did she talk to her sister every day at lunch?  I think not.   Did they write letters with an equivalent frequency as we exchange e-mails? Nope.   Did Aunt C try to visit at least once a year and vice versa?  My mom lived for 30 years in Maryland and her sister didn't visit once.  I see my sister at least once a year, twice if I can afford it, and she comes to visit here at least as often.  So clearly, D and I are way better at this sister thing.  Not that this is some sort of competition or anything, but we still win.

The point is that my mom's family isn't that close so, when I received the text from my mother reminding me it was GD's 85th birthday, the only reason I sent flowers was to please my mother.  I like to make her happy and she likes to see her mom happy.  So if sending flowers to a woman I haven't seen in over three years is going to make mom happy, I can do that.  If it gives and old woman some small amount of pleasure before she shuffles off this mortal coil, then who is it going to hurt except my budget.  Once day she will die and I will be sad for my mother.  But I don't know that  I will feel that overwhelming grief I remember at my paternal grandmother's funeral.

I think often about the inevitable death of my own parents.  I don't like those thoughts when I have them, I would rather believe that they'll live forever and things will never change.  But that is incredibly foolish and highly unrealistic.  Everyone dies at some point.  I wonder if it would be easier if one or the other died first.  How would I handle it, how would I move on with my life, etc.  I think I would be equally as devastated.  Especially if my 85 year old grandmother outlived them.

Overwhelmed

I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed lately.

It might have to do with the break-neck pace of my accounting class.  I am trying to cover an entire semester's worth of classes in about 6 weeks.  We're covering a chapter a night, with homework, and a major test once a week.  Right now, I am behind in the homework.  All projects and tests, that are due, have been completed.  Now I just need to finish the third test over the weekend so I can turn it in next week.

It might be house-sitting/dog-sitting for my dad while I'm taking classes.  Having to drive an extra 15 minutes each way is more taxing than one would imagine and it cuts down on the available free time.

It might be working two jobs.  I've been doing this for a while though, so it's probably more than I am continuing to do this while attending classes.

It might be my supervisor announcing he's leaving the company and my compulsion to clean up our inventory as much as possible before he leaves.  This way I don't have to explain the entire situation for each problem to someone completely new that may not have any experience in our department.

It might be my concern that my budget is wildly out of control right now and I am adding to my credit card balances more often than I'd like.  Looking down that long road to paying them off again and wondering if my dad was right about using my stagnant 401(k) from DTB to pay them off in the first place.

It might be that whatever free time I have left I try to squeeze in events with friends, old and new, in an effort to establish a much needed social network.  And my laundry is piling up, my room is untidy, and my kitchen needs a thorough scrubbing.  But these are all secondary and tertiary on my to-do lists.

It might be that all I really need is about 3 days to sit in the sun and not have to do anything.  No homework, no deadlines, no one asking for favors.  Time to relax once I arrive at my destination without having to think about my next three moves while still feeling terribly behind.

The Order of the Cask, Leaf, and Thought

A few months ago, I joined an Scotch group on Meetup.com.  I figured it would be the best way to meet new people and develop my social network.  They didn't really post any events and it didn't seem very active so I suggested going to Birds of a Feather in Baltimore.  One of the other members in that group saw my suggestion and realized that the group organizer hadn't been active in quite a while, so the Order of the Cask, Leaf, and Thought was born.

At this point, we've had about 4 meetups (though I think only 3 of them really count since we didn't drink any scotch at the Scotch & Meatballs event) and it's only me and this other guy who've consistently showed up.  We've had several people RSVP that they will be at an event, but that means nothing.  We have an event scheduled for this weekend, at Ireland's Four Fields in DC, so hopefully we get a few more people out for that - 7 have RSVP'ed.  If not, it will still be a fun time.

Cursive Handwriting

One of the girls at Hallmark this week told me that handwriting is being removed from many a 3rd grade curriculum.  She is studying to be a teacher and it's a topic of interest in one of her classes.  The unit on cursive handwriting is being removed to make room for all of the standardized testing that has to take place these days and ,with computers, the internet, and texting, there isn't a lot of reason to teach handwriting anymore. 

This made me incredibly sad to hear as handwriting is one of the more important personal things.  First I wonder how students will be able to read letters that their grandparents left behind if they can't read handwriting.  One of the most cherished things I have are handwritten recipes that belonged to my grandmother.  I also have a quick grocery list I found in her things.  She didn't intend for it to be anything other than a reminder but it's something she wrote so it had value to me.  If it had been a typed list, it wouldn't have mattered.  If it had been a temporary list on an iphone I would never have seen it.  And I am not saying these technological advances are bad things. Certainly it is better for the environment and the clutter in our homes to streamline these everyday processes.  But doesn't it make our lives a little more temporary with less evidence of our existence. 

Will cursive handwriting have to be a special class in grad school for historians and English professors, like Latin and Middle English?  Source documents from less than 30 years ago will be inaccessible to future generations without them.  There will always be a need to hand write something, but the art of cursive writing is going to disappear.  Even now most people print when they write.  I personally find cursive is faster and takes up less space, but maybe it's because I had the unit in third grade and I didn't own a computer until college.  For my cousins, printing may be faster than cursive because they are unskilled in that technique. 

And what happens if we are faced with a Jericho type situation where all technology is rendered useless and we have to go back to manual labor to survive?  (I've finished the series by the way and was sorry to see it end)  Will people know how to hand write?

I read this article today about how handwriting style is changed and influenced.  It was interesting and made me think of the analyzing handwriting book I had in grade school.  The idea being that you could tell a person's emotional state by looking at their handwriting.  It was even a major plot point in a dime store novel I read by Gypsy Rose Lee. All along people thought this woman had committed suicide because they found a note.  But Gypsy was able to determine that the woman was really murdered by someone by the slant of the writing.

Dogsitting

I agreed to dog sit for my Dad this week so that he wouldn't have to put their beautiful black lab in a kennel while they were on vacation.  Though, they refer to her kennel as the spa because she gets to play on a farm with other dogs and then they wash and massage her twice a week.  So it's not like it was a hardship for the dog.  It's probably a little bit more difficult for the dog having me watch her.  (I work a full time job when she's used to my dad being home all day and I don't get home until 7 when she's used to being fed at 4, etc.)

What I was not prepared for was the level of training Delilah has in her daily routine.  I do not mean the training that my dads' have given her, but rather the training she has given them.  This weekend, she started trying to wake me up at 4am.  I was able to ignore her until 6am when she proceeded to stand on me and lick my face until I got up.  I was not as upset about this 6 am business as I know this is when my step-dad goes to work and figured he probably fed her before he left.  So I stumbled out of bed and put food in her bowl then went straight back to sleep.  At 7 am I hear Delilah barking downstairs.  I thought there was someone at the front door or that maybe she had to go outside so I went downstairs again. 

I opened the back door to let her outside into the yard and she firmly sat down on the rug by the refrigerator.  She looked from me to the treat back on top of the fridge and then back to me.  Then she barked at me.   I texted my dad real quick to ask about this behavior and he said, "oh yes she always eats and then gets a treat."  I just thought it was incredibly funny that the dog had to wake me up again because I had "forgotten" the treat part of it.

This morning it was pretty much the same thing.  I didn't want to wake up at 4 am, I wanted to wake up at 8 am.  So I told her to lie down and go back to sleep.  Which she did until 6am when she started throwing herself against the bed frame so I would wake up.  When that didn't work she stood over me, again, and licked my face.  She is very demanding.  At this point I remembered the treat business since I didn't want to have to get up again before my alarm went off.  It was this moment when I realized how she had trained the dads.

Captain America

image source http://www.comics.org/issue/1313/cover/4/

I went to see the Captain America: First Avenger movie this weekend and I have to say that it was kind of amazing.  I was impressed by the use of special effects and the visual of Chris Evans going from Super-Skinny Steve Rogers to Beefcake Captain America.  I wondered if it was a body double and they put Chris' face on someone else's body.  But after reading this article on Film Journal International I learned that each scene with pre-serum Steve was shot 4 times.  Once with all the actors, once with just Chris Evans, once with all the other actors, and once with a body double just in case.  Then through computer and movie magic they were able to shrink Chris Evans digitally and reinsert him into the scene.  According to the article, there were some scenes where a body double was used and Chris' face was grafted onto it later.

It was actually a really fun movie and I definitely recommend it.  I didn't feel it was overly nationalistic, even though the original comic was born from the WWII era Patriotism.  Clearly, this is a time period when we do need to get back to feeling good about our country, as hard as that may be.  This film not solving national budget problems, or arguing over the debt ceiling, or doing anything that will actually make our lives better.  But I think it will, on some subconsious level, make people feel good about things and isn't that the point of the movies? 

Just the same as they was before they was...

My sister was visiting this weekend.  One of the benefits of her boss being in Philadelphia is that she has to travel there sometimes for important things and can stop over in Maryland for a day or two to visit.  (It's something I hope I'll be able to do when/if I am flown out to California for training.)  The Dads were out of town for most of her stay so we got to have an entire day with just the two of us.  We did really simple things like homework and sitting out in the back yard. 

We also met up with her old high school friends for dinner and then went for a drink in the city.  Things that I think we would do if we lived in the same town at the same time.  It wasn't all let's go do something majorly important because we don't have that much time together.  However, I don't know if I would appreciate these visits as much as I do if we lived in the same town.  It would be easy to take it for granted and get into squabbles about unimportant things.  Or maybe I am just remembering how it was sharing a small bedroom in seventh circle of hell conditions and it would be entirely different now.  Maybe it would be like it is with Dad and Mark where I see them every so often but try to maintain my own social life.  Actually, I highly doubt that.  It's not as difficult to hang out with my sister socially as it sometimes is with the dads.

As always though, I know I will be sad when I come home from work tomorrow and she has already left for Philly.  I always wish I had more time and I'm always in a bad mood for a few days after she leaves/I get back from visiting.  It's that something's missing feeling and I know exactly what is missing. 

Defining Current Events Terms

There has been a lot of talk on the radio lately about the national debt, our debt ceiling, and our bond rating.  I have a vague understanding of these terms, but not true comprehension.  So I thought it might be a good idea to post a few things I have researched.  If anything, I know my sister will correct any false assumptions I make.

[Note: a lot of these links are to wikipedia]

The S & P Bond Rating for the US was downgraded to AA+

• S & P - (Standard & Poor's) - a division of the McGraw-Hill Companies.  S & P publishes financial research and analysis of stocks and bonds.  Also known as one of the Big Three Credit Rating Agencies.
• McGraw-Hill Companies - publishes my accounting textbook and a lot of other educational materials.
• Some may be more familiar with the S&P 500 that is published about the stock market.  I hear the term S&P 500 on NPR a lot when I'm going home.  But it doesn't really mean that much to me, just let's me know that this company is a reliable source of information for a lot of financial things.
• The Big Three Credit Rating Agencies - Includes S & P, Moody's, and Fitch Group - given authority by the US government over 100 years ago to rate the Railroad companies for the safety of investors. 
• S & P gives ratings from AAA to D for a country/state/borrower/etc. 
• AAA is the best possible rating. It means that a borrower or issuer of a bond is reliable and stable.  An investor is very likely to get what is promised for their money.
• AA+ is our current rating from S & P.  This means that we are slightly higher risk than a AAA rated borrower when looking at a long-term investment.  My understanding of this is that, like most of the world, we're experiencing financial difficulties and if we don't do something to stem the tide now things will only continue to get worse down the road.
• I like to compare this to my own credit rating.  As of right now, it's about average but not that great.  It went down recently because I put my entire Ireland vacation on my credit card and I am paying it off slowly.  My sister has a better credit rating than I do because her debt to income ratio is better.  If she and I were to go a bank for a loan she would have a better chance of getting the money than I would.  My credit isn't terrible compared to about 70% of the US Population, but I'm not that financially sound.  This is why I don't have a mortgage.  Not that I've tried, but I think I should be on better footing before I attempt that kind of purchase.

Back on Track - WW edition

I went for my weigh-in today.  First one since my trip to NC and my eating of an entire box of Krispy Kreme Cheerwine donuts.  I know there is a reason I gained 2.8 pounds last week and thy name is Krispy Kreme.  The good news is that I lost 3.4 pounds this week.  So not only did I reverse the damage I did with my trip to NC, but I have made a little headway.  As of this week, I am back to where I was before I took my Ireland trip.

Shhh, I know that was 4 months ago but I am ready to get back to business with this.  I have about 15-20 pounds more to go and I am already happy with the way I look.  I think this is part of the problem, however.  Because there is such a marked difference from when I started and I am so much more comfortable in my own skin I have gotten lazy about the program.  I am not losing, but on the positive side of things I am not gaining a lot either.  I have been waivering between the same 5 pounds for the last 4 months and that's not a terrible thing.  If I were truly off the diet, it would be a lot worse.  This just proves to me that I have learned a lot in the last year and I am making healthy choices even if I am not doing them consciously.

So, Yay me!

Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is something that has come into my sphere of consciousness recently.   It wasn't something I had really heard about before, though, I vaguely remember someone talking about one of my cousins as having been diagnosed with BPD as a teen.  However, that has changed with the introduction of some new people over the last year or so.  There have been circumstances that have prompted me to do some research on the disorder.

Then I read an article that talked about a Miami Dolphin with borderline personality disorder and how he wants to become the "face" of this disorder.  According to the article he was recently diagnosed and believes this disorder has been the cause for his turbulent life.  It also described the difficulties in recognizing and diagnosing BPD as the mood swings and intense fears of abandonment are typical human emotions.  Though, the BPD version of these emotions is much more intense and sometimes debilitating than what a non-BPD person would experience.  The big thing about BPD, as I understand it, is that the person does not have the coping mechanisms necessary to deal with these emotions.

Please check out this article on Health.com for more detailed information on BPD as it will have more reliable information than I ever could.  What I did find interesting is that the article on CNN, about the Miami Dolphin, explains that it can be difficult to treat BPD.  The article says that people with BPD don't respond to medication, though they can be prescribed to alleviate the symptoms, and that it's the "talk therapy that stresses how to cope with the feelings of abandonment and other symptoms of the disorder"

I think it's very admirable for Brandon Marshall, the Miami Dolphins guy from the article, to announce this in a press conference.  I know it can't be easy to open up to people about any disorder and there is a stigma in society about therapy and mental illness in general.  It's something that a lot of us can't understand because we have not experienced it nor have we known someone who has had to work through these issues.  So for someone that has this intense fear of abandonment, and is working through it, to come out and tell the world that they have this problem is incredibly brave.  I think it is also helpful for people with this disorder to know that they aren't alone in their struggles.  It also puts faces to a disorder and makes it more personal for those that don't know someone with BPD.  But it important to remember that we are none of us perfect people.

Getting It All Together

I have been off track for the last month and a half.  I haven't written on this blog like I had intended and I've missed several entries in my year.  I have a ton of Drafts that will be recaps of the "Buffy" episodes, but I haven't even watched those episodes yet to do the recaps.  I haven't even written in my paper journal since June.  Life has gotten a little busier and I've had gotten a little lazier about the personal side of my life.  Don't even get me started on how I have been neglecting Weight Watchers.

Things I have done successfully:
1) joined a Meet-up group.  This one happens to be about Scotch, but I think it will help with creating a social network.  The important part being outside of my interactions with the girls at Hallmark.  One day I will quit this second job and I will need to have friends to fill up my free time.  It seems that I only catch up with the girls when we work.  I've tried to reconnect with L.V. (who quit Hallmark recently) and we haven't been able to hang out at all.
2) developed a working budget for my finances and a clear plan for paying off my Ireland trip and School costs before this time next year.  It sort of feels like I failed in my effort to keep my credit cards  empty after paying them off in February.  But then I realize the bulk of the charges are School Tuition & Books and my Ireland Trip which would have been paid off if I hadn't had to purchase new tires for my car.  So I am less panicked and feeling less like a failure on that end.
3) started taking accounting classes at JCC and realize I don't hate it.  It is a lot of information to absorb and I am glad the tests have all been take-home.  But I am getting the concepts down and think this is definitely something I would want to pursue.

So I am going to start from now, writing entries as I was before June, and then maybe go back and catch up on those episode recaps to fill in the gaps I created.  Wish me luck...

NKOTBSB



NKOTBSB at the Beginning of the Concert (My Photo)

 I traveled to Greensboro, NC this weekend for the NKOTBSB concert.  My sister had gifted the tickets for my birthday in February and I couldn't have been more excited that it coincided with my friend, J's son's second birthday.  I usually get to see J about once a year and the last two were kid related events.  (2009 was her baby shower and 2010 was R's first birthday.)

I was uber excited because I had my not so new anymore Sony Cybershot DSC-H20 and the Sony VCL-DH1758 Tele Conversion Lens and I knew I would be able to get some amazing shots at this concert.  I was hoping it wouldn't be as hit or miss as the previous concerts I've been to and I would have recognizable photos to take home.  It wasn't as much of a sure thing as I had hoped and I do have my fair share of fuzzy pictures.  But I also have a few great gems like these:


Focus on Jordan Knight




Danny Wood & Jordan Knight



Nick Carter & Howie Dorough





Backstreet Boys

Then there is my personal favorite, where they all came out on stage at the end to sing the song they recorded together.  But before they  sang their song, they did these little intros for members of the other group.  While they were waiting for their moment, the rest of the group members talked together on stage - like real people!  I just thought it was really cool.  And this is where I pointed my camera while AJ was talking about the Bad Boys of the group or Nick was talking about how awesome the Knight brothers are.



Mutability by Percy Bysshe Shelley

Mutability

by Percy Bysshe Shelley

We are as clouds that veil the midnight moon; How restlessly they speed, and gleam, and quiver, Streaking the darkness radiantly! -yet soon Night closes round, and they are lost for ever: Or like forgotten lyres, whose dissonant strings Give various response to each varying blast, To whose frail frame no second motion brings One mood or modulation like the last. We rest. -A dream has power to poison sleep; We rise. -One wandering thought pollutes the day; We feel, conceive or reason, laugh or weep; Embrace fond woe, or cast our cares away: It is the same! -For, be it joy or sorrow, The path of its departure still is free: Man's yesterday may ne'er be like his morrow; Nought may endure but Mutablilty.

There are a few poems that speak to me in times of doubt and struggle.  This is one of them.  It's usually when I come back from weekends like this last one and I can see how life moves and changes around us.  I wonder if I am moving and changing with it.  Am I growing, improving, moving forward as I should? 

I see my friends lives and I wonder if I am a healthy person.  Not just physically, but mentally and socially.  Am I making the right choices?  Am I a successful adult?  What defines those terms?

Unexpected Uses for Accounting

You know that time of day, when your brain wonders to whatever topic it wants?  It could be anything from Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon and wonder if that Asian actor in the new Spring Commercial is the same guy who played Adam in the Might Morphin Power Rangers Movie to a shame spiral of thoughts that lead one to dark emotional places.  This could happen while one is at work, driving in the car, or trying to go to sleep.

It's whatever time of day you have where your brain is unfocused and allowed to frolic freely in the mine field of your memories.  For me this happens most frequently when I am driving (usually home from work) or when my head hits my pillow.  It will catch on a thought and then chase after it like a ravenous beast.  Due to recent life events, it's usually about how different things are this year as opposed to last year.  Or what could have happened differently from how life is right now.  Or reliving the feeling of those revelations.  Or wondering if there's ever something in his current life that causes him to think of me and regret his choices.  Not just because of the pain he caused but because of me.  Driving home usually has me wondering what I would say if he ever came back and wanted a second chance.  Which is really very silly.

I have found that the confusing nature of Debits and Credits in accounting has given me an alternative.  Doing well in this Principles of Accounting Class is important to me and the plans I am making for my future.  Most of it is pretty easy to grasp since I can relate it to work I am currently doing, but most of it doesn't come second nature and I have to really work my way through a problem.  So in these times, where my mind is sabotaging my recovery, I have started thinking about the Accounting Equation and which parts have increases in debits and which have increases in credits.  It gives me focus on something positive and helps to reinforce the knowledge I am gaining.  Win/Win.

Name that Bitch

Have you seen that episode of How I Met Your Mother where Ted keeps inviting his random dates to important friend events and Lilly gets really upset.  She has him play that "Name that Bitch" game with her scrapbooks and he can't remember any of the girls' names.

I am heading down to NC today for the NKOTBSB concert and R's second birthday.  I couldn't be more excited.  I know that I don't live near my friend, J, and I don't see her and her family everyday so her son won't have actual memories of me until he's much older.  Even then it will be like the memories I have of Dad's friend, Bonnie.  I know she came over a few times and was there for family parties, but I have no concept of her as a person outside of these rare events.  I don't know what her sense of humor was like or what kind of friendship she had with Dad.  I know what I've heard, but I don't actually know.

What I do like is that one day R will look back at his parents' pictures and see me in the wedding party, at his shower, and (hopefully) all of his birthdays.  That even if I am not an actual character in his life/world, he will know that his family was important to me and that his mom had friends that loved her.  There are certainly people in my parents' pictures that appear more than a few times and I wonder who they are.  I hope that I have a little more presence in his life than that, though.  Things do change, however, and we can never tell what the future will bring.

14 Years Ago

There was a little boy born into my family 14 years ago today.  I was only 16 at the time and he had my heart instantly.  He was my Aunt's third child and my youngest cousin.  The Orioles had a legitimate chance at the World Series and my Mommom had another two months to live.  It was taking care of him in the aftermath of her unexpected death that helped create the bond I have with him.  I would do anything I could to protect that little boy.

Of course, he is not so little anymore.  He's much much taller than I am and off at music camp creating his own future.  There are so many worries I have for him.  He came out to me, and eventually the rest of his family, last year and there was a fair amount of drama surrounding it.  Not from the family necessarily but from having to deal with church and his social groups.  It was really the adults that made it a problem and not his peers.  At 13, he knew who he was and wasn't afraid to be himself and I could not have been prouder of him.  Since then, he's become really involved in the church and I know I've read this story before.  My father did the same things when he was that age.  And even though that story has a much better ending to it now, there was a lot of pain for my father that I hope my cousin will be able to avoid.

He could really accomplish a lot in his life and I sincerely hope that he is able to see his own potential.  I hope that he has bigger dreams than the border of Harford County and closer to my sister's than any of his other family members.  I try to stress that to him when I can.  That even though his life sucks right now, it won't always be that way and he has the power to make his own future.  But then I get phone calls while he's on a family vacation because there was a fight and he doesn't know how to handle it.

I hope that I'm helping in the same way that my Aunt helped me get through my formative years with Jim.  Our parents don't always make the best decisions but they do always love us.  I hope that he can see that in 5, 10, 20 years when he looks back on his childhood.  Mostly, I hope that he can come through all of these things a stronger and better person than his parents.  I hope he can possess all of their good qualities and very few of their faults.  That he can live a healthy grown-up life and stay in touch with me and Danielle no matter where his life takes him.

School Anxiety

For some reason today I had a small attack of panic regarding my class that is supposed to start tomorrow.  I started wondering how many weeks the class was going to be and did I sign up for the right semester.  I tried to find the information online but could no longer find the class on the school's website.  So then I really started to worry.  What if the class started last week, or last semester, and I had completely missed it? 

I know that this was an unreasonable fear.  I signed up for the class months ago after talking to an advisor at "JCC" and then paid for it on the spot.  It's been a done deal since before the summer began and I hadn't given it a second thought, or second guessed myself, until today.  I actually had to call the school and ask the registration and records people if I had the correct information.  The woman laughed a little and I apologized for being so paranoid and she said that she wished more people were as conscientious about their schedules.

So, it starts tomorrow.  I go back to school, even if only for a class, and I will know if about 5-8 weeks if this is something I actually want to do for the next 30 years of my life.  Up to this point, I've been a gypsy in my professional life.  I've gone from industry to industry just doing the work they'll pay me to do.  But this could be the start of actually defining a career for myself and that's very exciting.  I can still go from industry to industry if I want, but I won't have to start all over from the beginning when I get there, I'll be in the Accounting track. 

I was so excited this morning that I woke up before my alarm.  If you know me at all, you know that mornings are not my forté and that waking up before my alarm is usually a sign that something is very wrong or it's Christmas.  This was closer to that Christmas feeling than it was something wrong.  I've always been excited about school, it was never something I dreaded or wished would end prematurely.  My thought process driving home tonight was, tomorrow I'm going to learn something new.  And that joy is so overwhelming for me.  But it's also coupled with the worries of what if I don't like it, what if the class isn't on my level (either too fast or too slow), what if I am just not any good at it...Tomorrow we begin to get the answers to these.

Harry Potter - the Anti-Geek?

I read an interesting article by Amanda Marcotte at Pandagon.  It was called "Harry Potter: The Anti-Geek" and it really got me thinking about the books and certain things about them I take for granted.  Marcotte argues that the reason these books are so popular is because the characters don't fit into the traditional "band of misfits" trope.  Yes, Hermione is Muggle-born and, yes, Ron is from a poor wizarding family but the only characters that hold this against them are Slytherin.  (I don't recall any problems with the Gryffindor crowd, at any rate.)  There are times when Harry faces problems with his fellow house members but these are related to outside propaganda and political smear campaigns more than anything else.

Which brings me to another one of Marcotte's points: Harry is a jock.  She points out that not only is he the star athlete of the Quidditch team, akin to our Quarterback, but also a legit celebrity in the wizarding world.  Hence the drama with the propaganda.  This is not what you would expect from a "geek" or "nerd."  As Marcotte points out, the closest we get to a "nerd," with our Gryffindors, is Hermione with her intense studying and penchant for rules.  But even Hermione, as Marcotte says, dated a famous athlete (Krum, anyone?).

It's really Snape, Marcotte argues, that fits the mold of "geek," and I have to agree with her.  He is tormented by James when he is younger and continues this animosity with Harry.  More concerned with perfecting his potions and not getting the girl, is it any wonder that I was pulling for Snape in the whole is-he-or-isn't-he-a-bad-guy drama before the final book came out.  I do tend to love the underdog in stories. 

Which is what interested me about Marcotte's article, Harry Potter is not the underdog.  He is, in fact, from a prominent wizarding family even though he has to overcome his own personal struggles.  But there isn't one point in the novels where Harry isn't the hero.  Yes, he's the whiny teenager or the inexperienced wizard, but this is what makes the stories more realistic.  What we love about Harry is that, while clearly a superstar, he is still fairly humble and kind of heart.

NY Times Article: California to Require Gay History in Schools

NY Time Article: California to Require Gay History In Schools


I came across this article and thought it was incredibly interesting.  I am very proud that California has passed this requirement for their school curriculum.

Harry Potter - The End of an Era

The final installment of the Harry Potter movies will be released this weekend.  I am actually quite excited to see this film and then go back and read the books all over again.  I don't feel the sense of  "I'm so sad it's over" that I felt when I read the last book back in 2007.  (Oh, god, has it been that long...)  Reading the series and awaiting the new books to come out was an amazing experience and I am glad I was able to be a part of it.

I absolutely refused to read the books when they first came out.  I insisted that children's books were for children and the phenomenon was ridiculous.  I was wrong.  It wasn't until my part-time retail job started selling the Harry Potter knick-knacks that I felt I should read at least one.  It was the salesman instinct in me that said I should know what I'm talking about if I'm going to sell it to people.  And that was it.  I loved them.  I talked to my friends about the possible endings, read anything J.K. would tease us with, and enjoyed being part of a community that spanned the globe. 

The movies don't have quite the same intrigue that the books had, but they do signal the end of that era.  It seems like a lot of things are coming to a close on this, my thirtieth year.  And I have to go back to that Tim McGraw song about my next thirty years.

A Surprise 55th Wedding Anniversary

Attended my Stepdad's Parent's 55th wedding anniversary today.  The real anniversary is in December so he completely surprised them by holding it in July.  I know he wanted to do something special for them since their 50th was around the same time his sister passed away so it went uncelebrated.

It amazes me that they've been together that long.  I just look at my last 30 years and realize that there are completely different periods in my life.  I refer to them as lifetimes and I would say I've had about 5 of them so far.  Something comes along to drastically change your way of thinking or behaving and thus a new lifetime is born.  I read journal entries from ten years ago and I can't even remember being that person.  So, I can't imagine being with someone through that many life changes. 

How do you stay with someone for that length of time and still be in love with each other?  I know they had dark times.  And I know they had brilliant time.  So how did they get from one to the other for 55 years?

It's the Final Countdown...

Thirty years ago, 1 month and 16 days after I was born, the first Space Shuttle was sent into orbit.  Though it wasn't until 1982 that NASA began using the Space Shuttle on actual operational flights, I can't help but feel a kinship with it.  Today, the last Space Shuttle flight occurred.  I've written before about the space program and what a shame it is that, as a country, we don't have the drive we once had in this arena.

image from wikipedia

 "Just four astronauts—Christopher Ferguson (Commander) , Douglas Hurley (Pilot), Sandra Magnus (Mission Specialist 1), and Rex Walheim (Mission Specialist 2)—are conducting the 135th and last space shuttle mission on board Atlantis."  Listening to NPR, I learned that this is one of the smallest crews in the history of the Space Shuttle and there is a very good reason for this.  Since Atlantis is the last of the Space Shuttles, there isn't an emergency back-up in case something were to go wrong during the mission.  So the astronauts would have to move into the International Space Station until the Russian Soyuz Spacecraft can bring them home.   As you can see from the photo to the right, there is a big size difference between the Soyuz Spacecraft and the Space Shuttle we're retiring.  The Space Shuttle was used to transport the different modules of the ISS into space and the Soyuz has a limit of four people.  I also learned on NPR that the Soyuz Spacecraft will be the only way to travel to and from the ISS for now.   

It makes me wonder at the future for the ISS.  I know that it has only recently been reprieved through 2020 and I was reading on Wikipedia that the United States doesn't currently have the means to de-orbit the part of the ISS for which it is responsible until a replacement is found for the Space Shuttle.  So will the ISS continue to be maintained after 2020 via the Soyuz and commercial space flights or will it linger in space until our government decides what to do with it.  If the current battle over our debt ceiling is any indicator, I have a feeling that it will remain in space until it becomes a problem we're not prepared to handle.

Fourth Of July

This is now the third time I've rewritten this entry.  For some reason it keeps deleting and I'm not really sure why.  If only I had thought to copy the text before attempting to publish...

In a more elegant fashion, I talked about going over to N's place for the Fireworks in Baltimore.  But at this point I would rather make sure the entry is complete and published so I don't fall too far behind.  I was invited over to N's place to watch the Fireworks and I was getting a vibe that he wasn't really thinking of me romantically and, instead, enjoyed hanging out with me.  I had a great time meeting his friend from work and one of his roommates.  We grilled up some dinner and sat talking about relationships in the kitchen for a while.  The conversation spilled over to the roof time and I just had a great time hanging out with a small group of people.

Hanging out with N has shown me a different side of Baltimore living, one that I would not be completely opposed to, and I enjoy seeing it through fresh eyes.  That being said, as I walked back to my car that night I realized that I was asking myself too many questions about N's behavior and what I thought he might think of me.  It was like a tumbler clicking in a lock and I called him on my way home.  I said that I had the feeling he wasn't that interested, but I was still interested in getting to know him on a friend level.  He said that I was a "cool girl" but he didn't see it being long term and he had to focus on his Med School applications.  We agreed to be friends and will meet up for brunch on Saturday.

I, honestly, could use more male friends.  Right now, it's just M and he can be incredibly frustrating at times.  N also has a social network of people in the city, as far as I can tell, and I think this is how dating goes for 75% of the population.  Meaning you hang out with friends and they bring other friends who bring other friends and at some point you meet a random person who catches your interest for a time.  So the social networking will be good for me on many levels.  But I also felt N was incredibly easy to talk to and I was very comfortable hanging out with him.  I shared stories I don't normally tell people because you never know quite how they will react.  So I am glad that I have that kind of person in my friend arsenal.

The Cathartic Karaoke Trifecta

Taking a cue from my recent Glee Spree, I went out for Karaoke the other night with the Dads. The bar wasn't very crowded as it was Fourth of July Weekend so we were able to sing several songs.

My Song Choices:

Celo Green's "Forget You"
The Tractors' "Baby Likes To Rock It"
Jimmy Eat World's "The Middle"
Melanie's "Look What They've Done To My Song, Ma"
Lily Allen's "Smile"

What possessed me to sing "Baby Likes to Rock It," I have no idea.  I haven't heard that song in ages let alone sung along to it.  I was very upset because I had rocked the house with Celo Green's song.  Everyone had to tell me how great it was and how well I did.  Then came the travesty that was "Baby Likes to Rock It" and I was devastated.  So I decided to go with songs that I belt out in the car all the time.  The Cathartic Trifecta, as my dad called it.  Clearly Celo Green's "Forget You" is an obvious choice, Jimmy Eat World's "The Middle" probably not as much but it fits the theme, and Lily Allen's "Smile" rounds out my I-am-working-so-hard-to-be-so-over-you trio.

Mark pulled me into a duet with Melanie's "Look What They've Done To My Song, Ma." I sang a little too hard and strained my voice.  It had that raspy bar voice going on, which kind of worked when it was my turn to sing Lily Allen's "Smile."  I was glad that the bar patrons were as willing to forget my foray into Tractors territory as I was.  Now I am wondering what I should sing next week...

My Jem Costume!

I don't know if I'm sold on the wig just yet.  I promise to post pictures once I get the make-up and accessories figured out.

Hallmark Ornament Premiere

We're gearing up for Ornament Premiere at Hallmark.  Yes, you read that correctly.  Ornament Premiere is always the second or third weekend in July, at least it has been the last 12 years I've worked here, and customers are always shocked to see Christmas six months before the holiday.  Most customers groan and say something not terribly witty about it.  But there are those die-hards that buy their ornaments as soon as they come out because they are Collectors.  This is, personally, one of my favorite Hallmark events and not necessarily because of the ornaments though I do buy my fair share (and probably yours too.)  I love this event because I get to dress in costume and pretend to be something else for an entire day.  I go all out which means I get placed at the door and don't have to ring a single sale the entire day.  I'm not sure why the other employees haven't caught on to this yet.  It started as a way to wear my expensive Renn Fest Costume more than once a year.  Once I realized the added benefit of not actually working the entire day, I was sold.



from tomopop.com



This year, I need to come up with a theme that will be both fun for the other employees and allow me to wear my brand new Halloween Costume that I commissioned the lovely Cherrypievintage on Etsy.com to make for me.  If you are not familiar with this costume, and should be if you're reading a 30th year blog this year, this is the Jem outfit from Jem and the Holograms.  Yes, that's right, I am going to be Truly Outrageous.   Now I just need to find a pair of Jem Star Earrings, a Pink Rocker Wig, and sparkle tights.  If I could persuade my sister to dress up as Kimber and her girlfriend to dress up as Stormer, this Halloween could be epic.  "Tell me I'm crazy, Maybe I know, but I believe in Happy Endings."

Kimber and Stormer





Gone With The Wind/X-Men Mash-up Dream

I had the most amazing dream last night!  Obviously, it's a combination of my reading Gone With The Wind and discussing the most recent X-Men Movie.  Still incredibly cool.  It was like I was watching the movie and then things started varying slightly. 

Basically, when Melanie and Scarlett think that Ashley is dead he's really turning into Aquaman.  Then when Scarlett and Rhett are fleeing Atlanta they have to run up a lighthouse and Scarlett starts to slip through the floor like ShadowCat.  She then believes that she and Ashley really are meant to be since they are both now mutants.  Then there was a musical number featuring the song, "Total Eclipse of the Heart."  In my dream, I asked my dad if what was happening was accurate since I didn't remember the 1930's being so forward thinking.  The entire Civil War was being fought between mutants because of the Charles Xavier/Magneto argument.

Best Nerd Dream Ever!

Convertible New Beetle

For everything that has gone wrong this week, I have to thank the powers that be for letting me have a Convertible New Beetle as my loaner vehicle while Red Sonja is getting her wheels and oil changed. 

I couldn't resist putting the top down and riding around at lunch time, even though the skies were overcast.  There is something about a convertible that just makes one feel so "bad-ass" when driving around in it.

Plus this one had an amazing paint job and was the "Final Edition" before they release the new design with the 2012 line.  The marketing teams at Volkswagen really know what they're doing when they use these cars as loaners.  It really had me thinking about whether or not I could afford to trade in my car yet.  Of course, mine is only a 2009 and has just 45K miles on it, so it's too soon for any of that.  I only have 2 more years to pay on the car and it's mine.  Then I can start putting the monthly car payment in savings and maybe buy a house in the next 5 years.  So it's not convenient for me to trade in even though it's incredibly tempting.

Things to talk about with the Rafiki-Lady

I had a date ask for a rain-check due to being "swamped with things to do at work and . . . to be done at home."  My immediate thoughts were that he had a) something better to do or b)was embarassed about certain events that occurred on our last date.  I will not go into these details as it's just not polite to kiss and tell.  c)He could also legitimately have been busy but 1) this was the only opportunity to see me before his vacation this weekend and 2) it was only the 4th date.  I feel that if someone were truly excited about me, and getting to know me, that he would make room for a planned date no matter what came up.  If work swamps one at the last minute there should be some attempt to reschedule or alter the actual date plans to fit in a more limited time frame, or at least an inquiry if I am available after he returns from vacation.  None of these things happened.

It's really the stuff "to be done at home" part that makes me think he's not all that interested.  Because if you had all week to get ready for vacation and your only busy days were Tuesday and Thursday then certainly these things could have been completed on Wednesday.  It's almost akin to a girl telling a guy she can't go out because she has to stay home and wash her hair.  (Which may sound ridiculous these days, but after seeing A's beehive hairdo for the HonFest I could see how it might have once been a legitimate excuse.) I could be wrong, but I doubt it.  When you start dating someone you should be so excited about it that you can't wait to see them.  This clearly says that he CAN wait to see me and is therefore not that into it.

I could be bitter, overly extreme in my judgement, or just not as tolerant as I used to be.  I haven't read that He's Just Not That Into You book, but I feel like this is probably covered in its pages.  I will talk about it with my therapist tonight because I want to make sure that I am thinking about this objectively.  Or maybe I should just read that book.

Rainbow Cauliflower

photo from OpenWalls.com

While visiting my friend, H, the other day I noticed several oddly colored cauliflowers on the cooking show she had on in the background. We had a discussion about the dangers of genetically altering food and the current numbers of people with food allergies.  But in researching the Rainbow Cauliflower today, I have discovered that it hasn't been genetically engineered in a laboratory but rather through cross-breeding the way one would develop a new flower.(Check out this link for Purple Cauliflower for some quick info.)

Apparently, the cauliflower is not the only vegetable that has undergone some changes through careful selection and breeding.  I have to say that I was surprised to learn that Carrots have not always been orange.

Until the 17th century most carrots eaten Europe were white, yellow or purple. The orange pigment was added by Dutch plant breeders looking for a way to celebrate Holland's royal family. (Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-514799/The-orange-purple-green-cauliflowers-scientists-claim-healthier-you.html#ixzz1Q1t2mypK)

There are certain foods that I've grown up to believe have a "natural" color.  Apples are red, Bananas are yellow, peas are green, etc.  But there are certainly different colors and varieties of Apples than the simple red ones featured on my grade school flash cards.  Why shouldn't there also be different varieties and colors of Cauliflower and Broccoli?  Would you eat Orange Cauliflower or Purple Broccoli or would you feel there was something "unnatural" about it?

It makes me wonder why we have these prejudices about food colors.  Is white Cauliflower more common because it's easier to grow and therefore easier to distribute to commercial outlets?  Were orange carrots more popular because of the connection to the Dutch Royal family and then simply passed into commonplace at our tables? Is there any chance of finding these other colors at a Farmer's Market?